i dont think theres anything inherently bad abt having a sexual fixation w certain qualities (eg transness, fatness, etc) or w being open abt having specific attractions & basing who you date upon it. the problem is ppl refusing to see those to whom theyre attracted as also human

ppl whose identities are fetishized are often marginalized. it's a fundamental part of why fetish communities will crop up around an identity. for many, fetish is rooted in marginalization making marginalized persons sexually alluring. but nothing says it has to be this way

example: many feedists--mostly allocishet men who identify as feeders, but others too--like feedism bc they view fat as bad & are aroused by the dynamic of shame created by the marginalization of fatness. it's shitty, but it's not the only way to be attracted to fatness or eating

i never fault folks for refusing to interact w "__ fetishists" as fetish communities have likely shown them massive disrespect. that being said its a problem tht the pressures on ppl attracted to a quality that is marginalized r to deny it or to join in on & defend dehumanization

i don't know if the concept of fetish communities is truly, fundamentally rotten, but at least in our society it sure *seems* impossible to have a genuinely respectful one. the work needed to destroy this problem at its root is gargantuan, & it's hard to even know where to start