"Lowering Your Fucking Standards"

a thread

1/

2/ I came across this thread default RT'd and I reacted to it with negative feelings

For the record, I think default is wonderful, and I don't know justin beyond having read several dozen of his tweets https://twitter.com/default_friend/status/1315069867720990721

3/ To get this little grievance out of the way, I admit that the comment "I wish you my kind of success" rubbed me ESPECIALLY the wrong way. But this thread isn't about rallying people to mail in thumbdown emojis

I'm writing this to explore the idea of lowering your standards

4/ as per the yoojj I'm gonna start out boring as heck and keep that going at a low simmer, so strap in

Let's Define Standards!

A standard is synonymous w/ "sufficient quality"--a boundary beyond which something is adequate for some purpose

5/ What does having standards feel like?

IMO it feels like having boundaries. Having taste. Being particular. Having an ethical&moral code--some treatment that you expect. Preferences. A personal image.

You find some things acceptable, others not so much

6/ These boundaries are partially produced by innate temperament, but much of it is learned as one negotiates their environment. We test boundaries and evaluate responses to determine the limits of what is acceptable

This is a process, a nebulous relationship with the world

7/ To lower your standards is to debase yourself. To say that you're not good enough. Aim lower. You'll never be a great artist, you'll never achieve your dreams, you'll never have the kind of love you want. Give up, you're wasting your time.

8/ Stop Trying. You're not smart enough. You're not smooth, or rich. You're so imperfect, you want something better?

Look at you, you're ugly. It hasn't worked up until now, why would it start?

To me, this is what "lower your fucking standards" /feels like/ it is trying to say

9/ But people don't exist in a narrow hierarchy

I struggle with this. I often do not feel like I am enough. It is one of the greatest causes of my personal suffering

But no one is better than anyone. Some are healthier, richer, better at math. You are not your math SAT score

10/ Do you really think intelligence can be encapsulated in a few scores? There are wonderfully varied ways that people are intelligent and capable

That's the thing, we're all different, we all have strengths and weaknesses