Every month, something will trigger me, and I will start to feel completely hopeless and start sobbing over some dumb reason.

Today, it started cause I was watching The End and the Last Year on HBOMax about Obama’s last year and how it brought me back to 2016, which honestly was worse for me than 2020.

2016 was a hard enough year for me, but the election night was the absolute punch in the gut. I cried myself to sleep for about two hours, woke up at 3am for work, and almost forgot it was my birthday.

It was the worst birthday, the worst month, just the worst... for weeks, after I’d finish my work for the day, I would get in bed and listen to podcasts until I could go to sleep.

And I wanted to fast-forward to 2020 to know if I’d be ok, if the country would be ok, and oh I couldn’t wait to vote Trump out too.

Yes I’m doing better now, but if 2020 Alicia went back and told 2016 Alicia everything that happened in the last four years....I don’t think she could have handled it.

Anyway...this thread was really started by the fact that I was feeling hopeless, started crying, and thought “did I take my meds today?” No. “Are you PMSing?” Oh yes definitely.

Will definitely delete later. The end.