the hardest thing about being a person who’s being pretty cautious re: rona safety habits at the moment is that it feels like my isolation is my own fault.

I’m making the decisions that seem right to me based on all the info I have, but even with all that knowledge I can’t help but sometimes feel like it’s my own fault that I feel so lonely/awful/depressed. Like if I were just less anxious, I could be doing more & feeling less bad.

I know that’s not really what’s happening, but it is really hard to feel like every day I wake up and have to make decisions that reinforce and worsen all of the things about my life right now that are responsible for how badly I feel.

And of course I am very aware it’s not productive to focus on what other people are doing, but it’s unrealistic to pretend it won’t be a thing I notice or sometimes think about. Other people’s choices are not the cause of these feelings, but it does make things harder some days.