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When I was a sex worker I felt empowered at first. I had all the men giving me attention, I felt wanted, I felt like someone. The idea that someone thought I was so attractive they’d pay for my body was mesmerising. I finally felt valued. But..
Very quickly that feeling unravelled. Men would inbox me for free content, men would steal money from me, men would verbally abuse me all day every day, men would waste my time to just talk to me, my pictures started appearing everywhere, my content was posted everywhere
I suddenly didn’t feel in control anymore. The more time went on the more I began to lose who I was, mentally, emotionally and physically. My identity became a product. My value became a capitalist nightmare. These men didn’t care about me, they wanted what they could take
For every pay cheque I got, I was abused twice as badly day in and day out. What felt empowering was a mask. I liked the control, but sex work is giving over control of your body and your mind for price. Sex work devalues who you think you are
I left it broken. I begged pornhub to take down stolen content, they refused. I deleted Facebook and Instagram posts of my sex work, only to have men save it and spread it. There is no real leaving sex work. It is debilitating to your mental health.
This is not liberation, it’s simply a trap.
