not & #39;coming out& #39; as the imperative to narrate our identities on an ever-more-micro level, but as the moment you make explicit and own dangerous things about who you are and what you want, and how that maybe doesn& #39;t align with what the world wants and expects-
and in that moment you don& #39;t only reveal who you are, but find out: who really loves you, who has your back, who wants you dead, who wants you silent, who is consistent and who can be moved and who wants a piece of you
anyway: I love talking about gender, including mine, and sex, including the kinds I want to have, but I would rather do that for the pleasure of discovering and naming things than because of an imperative to *become* things by naming them
I do place a lot of value on Coming Out & I never know if that& #39;s entirely for the best, but the experience of being really explicit & rebellious & finding yourself on the other side of it, much clearer on the world & yr place in it, has value, & that& #39;s the thing that feels clear
it& #39;s also: I did get (really explicitly, in fact- the & #39;why do you have to be *trans*& #39; is always that) punished for naming myself badly, but I think, first, I was punished for *doing*- I didn& #39;t have a chance to have a staged encounter, or to tell, bc it was revealed for me