I have just read ANTIGONE and man, Sophocles has gone and completely f*cked the entire franchise with his ego. This play has great language and the Athenian theater competitions won’t rank it lower than second even though it ABSOLUTELY SUCKS

But you can bet your ass I won’t be watching ANY MORE THEATER as long as SOPHOCLES is writing it. (He’s partial to men the way Euripedes is partial to women, if you catch what I mean, and you can tell from his AGENDA)

I mean, look, I stuck with the Oedipus franchise even after the prequel where we find out that he did a lot of incest, but this play is a bastardization of Antigone’s character. In the original (Rex), it was established that Oedipus was a GOOD PERSON who was SACRED TO THE FURIES

Antigone CLEARLY was sympathetic to her father’s wishes, which means that she would ABSOLUTELY never bury the body of a traitor like Polyneices, and there’s no WAY she would plot against Eteocles. She just wouldn’t do that!

The play introduces the Seven Against Thebes, a completely new group to the whole story, and expects us to sympathize with them and their crusade against Thebes, which frankly, I don’t care about, because this is a story about OEDIPUS and his DAUGHTER.

These people are going to start the war that precedes the Trojan War, and I’m just expected to SYMPATHIZE with them bc the f*cking Chorus - I mean, Sophocles’ self insert - tells us to? This is BULLSH*T, not to mention an anti-Theban agenda like all the playwrights have nowadays

I mean, none of this would have happened if Creon had just gotten his sh*t together and realized burying people alive isn’t an acceptable method of execution. I guess Sophocles wants to “teach us something” but like I OBVIOUSLY know you have to directly execute someone,I’m not 12

I mean, Sophocles’ politics are literally all over this. The guy just got done serving as a general invading Samos, and now he’s just writing this play about “oh, tyrants are so bad” as if that excuses your COLLABORATION IN ATHENIAN IMPERIALISM.

Not to mention the plot hole in the end where Antigone gets what she wants! She buries her brother! She could have been FINE, but then she goes back to BURY HIM AGAIN, which is the ONLY REASON she got caught! She could have won the play and continued her story, but NOOOO

I can’t believe SCOFF-o-cles - by which I mean Sophocles, because I scoff at him - has any fans at all in the entire agora. We all hate him

It has come to my attention that my fictional reviewer got what he wanted, as Sophocles passed away shortly before the production of Antigone and never wrote any more plays