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17 months ago I had a total hysterectomy + bilateral ovary removal for severe PMDD - I honestly believe that surgery saved my life, yet I definitely wasn& #39;t ready for the mental health rollercoaster of surgical menopause + HRT that followed (thread)
17 months on + finally my hormones are in range, following surgery I thought my mental health battle was over, I am so much better, I don& #39;t self harm or need to be in hospital for my safety anymore. I am living independently, I can drive + hold down a job (2/?)
Yet I am still awaiting for the day I feel "better". There are many days I feel broken + whilst I have no regrets about my surgery, I feel it changed me in ways I could have never expected. I often feel zapped of energy (3/?)
And despite hating PMDD (wouldn& #39;t wish it on my worst enemy) in a strange way there are times I mourn my old life, the life I knew for over 17 yrs. Grieving for the years I lost to PMDD, to the children I will never bare is hard, recovery is hard (4/?)
They say life is not a race, but feeling & #39;behind& #39; my peers is hard, change (even positive change) is hard. There are so many aspects of PMDD I don& #39;t miss, yet there are still times I miss the old me, I miss the energy I had (5/?)
I miss the body I had, I miss being fit & able to run through fields whenever I wanted. I am tired of migraines & hot flushes & night sweats, I am tired of feeling alone + not fitting in with others my age. (6/?)
I don& #39;t know what I am trying to say here & I guess I am having a little bit of a pitty party, but I just wanted to be honest & share so others don& #39;t feel so alone. (7/?)
If you are a professional providing care for someone with PMDD, or for someone going through surgical menopause or early menopause, please don& #39;t just assume because they are on the other side of the crisis, because they are living independently (8/?)
Because from the outside + objectively life is going well for them, that they are okay & no longer need support. Surgery +/- menopause is a lot for anyone to adapt to especially at a young age, be there for them, let them grieve, support them whilst they rebuild their life (9/?)
And if you are reading this & can relate please know that are you are NOT alone 
https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="đ" title="GrĂŒnes Herz" aria-label="Emoji: GrĂŒnes Herz"> You have survived the storm + one day the sun will shine again https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="âïž" title="Sonne mit Strahlen" aria-label="Emoji: Sonne mit Strahlen"> (10/10) #menopause #pmdd #mentalhealth https://abs.twimg.com/hashflags... draggable="false" alt=""> #recovery #hope #hrt #earlymenopause #makemenopausematter
