When people come over to do work at our home, I generally don't talk much because of my Polish.

Yesterday, we had a man over to clean our couch w/ a steam cleaner.

He entered our home and I said, "Dzień dobry [Good day]." Then I worked with my laptop at the dining room table.

My wife and him were chatting away in Polish. And when this happens, I usually zone out anyway.

At one point, I left the room.

The cleaner asked my wife if I was a neighbor. My wife said no, he's my husband - why?

He said, "Oh, usually the man is talking to me."

"They like to talk about my steam cleaner," he said.

When I came back, he was in our kitchen filling a bucket of water. On the counter were two empty chocolate beer bottles from the previous night.

The man said, "What kind of a man drinks that kind of beer?"

My wife told him that this was her beer, not mine.

"Oh," he said.

My wife is translating all this as it's happening.

This man who keeps making potshots at me because I'm not living up to his bullshit standard of masculinity, seems disappointed that I'm not reacting to him.

He lectured my son about riding his bike on the street before he left with a lot of finger waving.

I was happy when he was gone.

But I felt sorry for him because he clearly couldn't turn his masculinity bullshit off. It was programmed in too deep.

It must be so exhausting.