i missed World Mental Health Day yesterday. it seems like there's something to celebrate and acknowledge every day, but this one in particular is important to me.

this will not be a pretty thread. it's not happy. but it's real and genuine and that's all i can thoughtfully give.

it's easy to minimize a person on social media to one-dimension, one who smiles in photos and makes jokes.

"they are so happy," you might think.

i've done it, of course. we all have.

i would have given anything -- and i mean, anything -- to know that other people - other seemingly happy, successful, driven(!) people - struggle with depression and anxiety when i was a kid. a teen. a college student. when i started graduate school.

when i was in an abusive relationship, i would have given anything to know that it wasn't my fault. that my fear and anxiety made sense, given the circumstances.

i have struggled with a serious anxiety disorder and various degrees of depression for years.

i was in therapy at age 9(!!!) for anxiety. i couldn't breathe at school because i kept having anxiety attacks. i made myself physically ill.

i wish i'd known that i wasn't flawed; that there wasn't something deeply wrong with me that made me unlovable or unworthy.

i've been in and out of therapy since i was 9, but i've been going weekly (or more frequently!) every week for the last 7 years.

i take medication for my anxiety and panic attacks.

i still have a lot of work to do.

for every smiling photo you see on social media, or every thread sharing one's accomplishments, know that there's a human on the other end of the screen with their own struggles.

i sometimes get so frustrated with social media because i feel like people only see a small glossy slice of who i am.

i share this to be as open and raw as possible, to share a larger part. to share that it's okay to be struggling.