We’re noticing a few asking “why do we need a day like this?” and “where is my day?!” this #NationalComingOutDay

Well, there’s a story behind the occasion today. Let’s have a quick history lesson!

#NationalComingOutDay began in 1988. The idea was that telling loved ones who you are could not only be personally freeing - it could also be a way to advance the activist effort of the time. Through personalisation, stigma could be tackled: “the personal is political”

Prejudice and discrimination towards minority groups grows faster and stronger when people think they don’t know anyone from those groups. “Them and us”. It’s harder to buy into homophobic or transphobic rhetoric when you know and love someone from the LGBT community.

If you know that your daughter, son, cousin, mum, dad, sister, brother, best friend (and so on...) is LGBT - then you’re more likely to feel strongly about equal rights. When they face oppression or prejudice, you’ll want to help do something about it. That’s the idea, anyway.

While that’s true for many who come out, for others it still isn’t. Instead of support, they face rejection. Instead of love, they hear words of hate. Sadly, this has always been a reality facing LGBT people: how will they react? How will I be treated? How will my life change?

The date for the first #NationalComingOutDay (11th October) was chosen because a year before, one of the largest political rallies for equal rights took place. The Second National March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights 1987 took place in the midst of the AIDS pandemic.

During the AIDS pandemic, homophobia was rampant. Many young gay and bisexual men were de facto ‘outed’ to their families upon diagnosis, as a result of the framing of the virus as a “gay plague” and the assumptions made. For some, they continued to be shunned on their deathbeds.

At the march, the AIDS Memorial Quilt was displayed for the first time. Activist @CleveJones1 started the project by encouraging people to stitch a 3-by-6 quilted panel to memorialise someone they loved who had died of AIDS. There are now more than 105,000 names on the quilt.

Since it’s first recognition in America, #NationalComingOutDay is now a globally observed phenomenon. Across the world, LGBT people share their own coming out stories, organisations share advice and support, with the view that others who are struggling may find some hope.

The truth about ‘coming out’ is that it isn’t a one-off event. Most remember the first person they told, but LGBT people have to ‘come out’ repeatedly - always weighing up if it’s safe to do so.

“Do I say boyfriend or partner?”
“Will I hold her hand?”
“Do I tell them I’m trans?”

Communities who have historically been excluded from mainstream society, experiencing prejudice and discrimination, will often create their own cultural signifiers in the calendar. They have their own histories, their own experiences, and their own ways of marking their struggle.

So the next time you see #NationalComingOutDay or #InternationalLesbianDay or #LGBTHistoryMonth or #TransDayOfRemembrance trending and think “where is my special day?!” - know that there is a lot of cultural context behind them, and be fortunate you didn’t need to create one.