I'm baffled by this battle between autism parents and #ActuallyAutistic people. I'm a late dx autistic mother of an autistic child. I guess some of the autism parents would call him severely autistic. I've been his mother for longer than I've known I'm autistic.

The autism parents would either question whether I really am autistic or say that I'm high functioning.

In many ways I probably am. In others I'm very much not and the cost to me of functioning where I do is huge. Public meltdowns. Self harm. Loss of future function.

When my son was little I went along with a lot of what the professionals suggested even though it was very distressing for both him and me because they were professionals. Then I met the online autistic community. I learnt from them that my instincts were right and why.

They enabled me to distinguish between my son's actual needs and the needs those around him had of him, and to recognize when a professional was prioritizing the latter over the former. They empowered me to advocate for my son. They have helped me to ensure my son's happiness.

They could only do this because I listened. I listened because I realised that they understood what it's like to be autistic far better than I did. Yes I knew my son better. But I didn't understand why my son had a meltdown anytime he was near a barbecue or candles (clue: smoke).

Even when I thought I was NT they never oppressed me, bullied me, marginalized me or gaslit me. All things that the same people are now being accused of. It's a disgusting and intentional campaign of harrassment against a marginalized group of people in their own space.

Being a speaking autistic who can work gives me a lot of privilege. I recognize that, as does every other speaking autistic advocate I see. It's about time the autism parents recognized their own privilege.