Have you been feeling lately that time has become weird since quarantine began?

That it simultaneously feels like it's been forever, but also like a couple of weeks?

This weird sort of psychological time dilation comes to you because of how our memories are formed.

For the most part, when you think back on time, your memories are of two varieties.

1) Repeated memories of things that you habitually do.

2) Memories of exceptionally new events, people, and things.

More "time" simply means more of these things to look back on.

Our brains are not designed specifically to memorize ALL the regular, repeated, daily things we do. For instance, it won't remember lunches you make yourself. Or every single time you have sex with a regular partner. Of those, you only remember ones that REALLY made you feel.

If it wasn't super good or super bad, your brain just goes, "Okay, ate dinner. For 10,000th time. DELETE!"

It makes sense. There is no value in remembering the 53 times you had a grilled cheese sandwich in the past year. Now... if you had a new Indian dish you LOVED...

Your brain will remember that experience! Because it wants you to repeat it!!!

Same goes for new experiences. Your brain is focused on it. It wants to experience it all. In case it all turns out to be AMAZING and it wants you to repeat it!

Same if your brain doesn't WANT you to avoid those things. Remember will help you NOT repeat those things.

Think camping, hiking, going swimming, going to a party at a new friend's on the theme of disco vampires. You remember them. Whether they are good or bad. For future ref!

Do a little experiment. The years of your life that felt the longest had a lot of regular experiences that either made you have strong feelings, or super brand new experiences. Sometimes. Quality as well as quantity matters, though. One SUPER bad experience will make a year LONG!

This is why we're in this weird time dilation.

One the one hand, the HORRIBLE experience of quarantine makes it feel like time isn't going anywhere. That we are stuck. That it's been forever since we hang out with friends, or family, or did fun things. It feels long...

At the same time, when you look back, there aren't that many exceptionally new experiences. We haven't met a lot of new people. Socialized a lot. Or gone out to nature. Just the daily grind which your brain trashes immediately.

Which is why the past 7 months feel so empty.

The worst part is those feelings can co-exist. You can feel like you are stuck March 2020. But also feel like you have no idea what you did from April through today.

We can't really do much directly about #1. But we can do something about #2, which will also kinda affect #1.

The solution is finding new things to do. Or new ways of doing the things you're already doing.

I know it's been repeated to death that you should go out in nature. But please go out in nature if you can. Like REALLY go out in nature. Put yourself out there.

Make GIANT new experiences that will stay with you.

At the same time, do small new things as well.

Watch completely different genres of TV and movies on your streaming apps. Start making foods that you have never eaten before. Adopt a pet. Seriously, adopt a pet.

The idea is that you want your brain to say, "Oh, this is new. I don't do this regularly! I should remember this stuff in case it's good so I can repeat it! Or laughably bad so I avoid it in the future!"

That's a long way of the cliched "make memories". They add time!

Most of us already know to do these things without knowing WHY we're doing them. Remember the bread making fad?

That was an attempt by everyone to make new memories to stretch out time. That's why so many people are taking up arts and crafts. Redesigning interiors etc.

I don't remember everything I ate the past year.

But I remember when @premedbabygroot and I made banana pancakes. Or had an extremely spicy shakshouka. Not to mention, we made and ate french fries on a whim at 2 am. The best? I woke up from a nap to the smell of my fav dish!

I don't think @premedbabygroot remembers making that special dish for me that day. But I can close my eyes and still smell it like I have just woken up from a nap and she's asking me to come eat. That's time we stole from quarantine.

I have bad experiences, too. Our doggo wouldn't eat anything or vomit when she ate stuff for a few days. Felt horrible. I remember it so I don't repeat that. If we hadn't adopted Lola, we wouldn't have had that memory. Nor of her finally feeling better! <3

Now you might ask, "How does this help with quarantine, though?"

Part of the feeling of "stuckness" and 2020 lasting forever is that you are not "making memories". Your brain has A LOT of time to not do anything. See, when you "make memories", the act isn't all of it.

Most of it is your repeating that memory so you can remember it better. You retell to other, sure. But you retell it to yourself the most. You run it in your mind over and over. Every detail. Every emotion that came with it... You do all of this inside your "mind". Keeps it busy!

And the busier your mind is thinking about anything other than the quarantine itself, the less it can ruminate over quarantine. And the faster time will fly away. DOING things that distract you from thinking about quarantine literally reverses the pattern.

Now, you won't feel as stuck because you're not THINKING about being stuck so time becomes a bit easier to bear.

And when you look back, you have more memories and hence, feel like you had more time!

If you can't do brand new things, do things you're already doing in a new way.

Play new games! Watch new TV shows! Buy new drinks to try. Make new foods you've wanted to make. Learn to bake. Burn bread. Fill the room with smell. Live with it. Remember it. Reclaim your time.

And if you feel like it helps, then integrate it into your life even after quarantine is over.

You are alive. And you deserve to experience living, and have memories that you can go back to relive in case you need to escape the present for a while.

P.S. I wrote this last night and I have new thoughts that I want to share here, but I need to finish some work first!