i have several “issues “ and “problems” that make me feel like i will never be mature enough to settle down and become something

i always feel like i should act Older and more serious because im not in school any more. i feel like the time for me to have fun with everything was something i was forced out of. maybe working at amazon for 6 months did it.

those 6 months were, probably, the worst time in my life and i would rather [i dont want to get banned yet] than go back there. although, i will say, i got to go to amke which was one of the 3 good things i did while i lived up there

do i regret never trying to go up to WI more often? every day. i tell myself “you could have gone up there so often if you weren’t so afraid to talk to anyone” every single day. i really wish i could have done it and i wish i could have seen everyone more than once

this thread is too long! all i want to say is i only feel like i am mature when i’m in a very bad emotional state. i wish i could go back and change things