Is this bad?

Like is it bad?

I can't tell anymore. I can't tell if it's real. The message is so overwhelming that I'm not allowed to experience this, and I'm a bad person for being hurt or talking about it, so I can't tell if it's true. I don't know if it's bad.

Every day I wish I could beg people to reassure me that this is really happening and it's bad. I'm so messed up I I need to be reminded every day, which is probably why I talk about it so much. I just can't tell anymore if it's bad.