One of the luckiest accidents of my life was British visa restrictions forcing me & my girlfriend to decide if we were truly in love or just pretending.

We married at 23 & 27, wayyy before we’d have otherwise.

Many thoughts for millenials wasting time dating and waiting...

1/?

Marriage is an utterly insane mechanism.

You’re right to think, “I’m not sure, what if it doesn’t work out, I lose so many options, etc.”

It’s a crazy, impossible-to-gaurantee decision with huge downsides.

But if you do it right, the upside arguably approaches *infinity.*

The upside to marriage is infinite insofar as it produces an absolute qualitative rupture. It’s a wormhole to another dimension, and the superiority of this dimension is felt but incalculable, incommensurable, there’s no common denominator to be found on the other side.

The infinite upside to marriage is only obtained if you do it right.

The key is you must be truly “all in,” meaning you will die before you even consider initiating a divorce.

Capacity for this affirmation (aka faith) is going extinct.

If you can, you enter the new dimension.

When you cross to the other side, the depth of the bond is genuinely, indescribably enriching and sweet—heavenly is the only word.

But the earthly advantages are numerous and invisible in pop culture.

First, men, you can accomplish sooo much more when you’re not chasing women.

Many men will accomplish much more after marrige for the sheer time not spent on the social dating game.

But the real gain is you no longer have to regurgitate well-known high-status ideas to make girls like you. True intellectual originality becomes possible.

The conformity effects of the dating market are the most underestimated scourge on American culture today.

The norm of postponing marriage accelerates mimetic rivalry: men feel forced to competitively mimic high-status beliefs into their 30s!

Let’s have forced marriage at 25.

Anyway, marriage can be really really hard. Once or twice we have encountered the absolute limits of our faith in each other. And these were excruciatingly difficult, existential impasses.

It’s not easy, but I do believe it really is simple:

Never, ever quit—and you can’t lose.

The mistake many people make is they think of divorce as a worst-case-scenario option.

Of course, it *is.* If it happens, OK.

The key is not to think of it as one.

If you’re tied to the ship, you’ll be absolutely amazed by what you are capable of doing to keep it afloat.

If you’re dating & living with a girl for more than a year, and you’re over 25 years old, and you’re not miserable, you should get married now.

If you think you could do better, you are being selfish.

Be absurdly grateful 1 person can even tolerate you.

It’s a miracle really.

Marriage is often crazy ups & downs but if you really, in your heart of hearts, tied yourself to the ship—there’s not much you can control.

Just never, ever stray—let alone cheat—and just steer the fucking ship.

Women do shit-test, btw, even in marriage.

Men steer.

I am not rebranding as a marriage guru but I have been married seven years and I write these tweets because I know at least a dozen young men reading this need to hear it.

It’s a crazy ride you can only navigate yourself, but DMs are open if you want my useless advice.

Oh and one last thing, if you really want love and a wife and you can’t find a “good-enough” girl to date, let alone marry, then lower your fucking standards.

So many imperfect people not marrrying each other because they want people lacking their own degree of imperfection.

After you get married everyone becomes ugly in the long run of old age, and even if you marry the hottest+smartest girl in the world, you’ll quickly see unexpected degress of ugliness and stupidity here and there. She’ll see the same with you! We are all hideous in many ways.

I love my wife, I love my life, and I wish you my kind of success.