Okay but maybe you were a neurodivergent kid and you developed severely unhealthy coping strategies in your formative years because you were walking on eggshells and just had to figure out how to survive with a brain that didnât work like it was expected to & now you have twitter
And so you find out all kinds of stuff into adulthood that other people know because that extra nurture for your brain in your childhood just wasnât there or you were misdiagnosed or you were guilted about needing help and not getting better so you buried your trauma
And now in adulthood you reach out into the internet for self discovery because you have no idea what youâre doing and you find a lot of other people with the same story, with PTSD or DPD or BPD or MDD or Bipolar or OCD or all of the above
And itâs just unbelievable to you that you know so many people who had good childhoods but also know so many people who are recovering from this pattern of emotional neglect well into their 30s, 40s, 50s, even 60s and up and you are not only not alone, you belong somewhere
And so with each step you take into finding yourself, into climbing out of derealized hell, into not hating yourself or drinking yourself to sleep or constantly jumping from diet to diet or partner to partner or job to job you feel like youâre about to fall into a chasm
But thereâs like this bet other people with this trauma are weaving and you suddenly find youâre weaving it too and youâre all taking turns catching people who fall as often as you can and as well as you can
and on the good days, the REALLY good days, you all pull each other out and you donât even need the net because no one was falling; just once, no one was tipping over, no one was on the edge, no one was being pulled into the pit, and itâs an incredible thing
And those days are what you look forward to when you start to fall because you know and you know everyone else knows too that so many of us just sit on the edge and make friends there because we donât know where else to go,
and you think to yourself maybe the world beyond isnât so bad
But right now you donât know
And you can stay here until youâre ready to find out
You can keep weaving nets, catching, being caught
And for now, thatâs not nothing
For now, itâs precisely where you need to be
But right now you donât know
And you can stay here until youâre ready to find out
You can keep weaving nets, catching, being caught
And for now, thatâs not nothing
For now, itâs precisely where you need to be
Uhhhhh Iâm on Patreon and have a kofi if you want to support me in any way
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