Hey, you. You there.

Is your mental health struggling due to isolation (and *gestures at all*)? Has six months-ish of quarantine started to take a serious toll on your well-being?

This thread is for you. #mentalhealth #PandemicLife

Someone from one of my online communities posted that they are really feeling the weight of their aloneness and the lack of structure - and that they needed some tips for getting by, as well as strategies for reaching out to loved ones and getting some more support.

I went through some pretty intense isolation *pre* pandemic - that became more pronounced when I broke my ankle in Jan (three breaks, 10 screws, 2 plates - woo!). I also am a chronic depressive who self isolates when left unchecked, and have spent years developing ways to deal.

I shared these tips with them, but wanted to share them here too - in case it helps anyone else out there.

(To be clear - these are ideally a supplement to the support of a therapist/medical professional, not a replacement. obviously.)

1. Set up a low key virtual hang. It doesn’t have to be on video. Set up a virtual movie night - and set up a group chat. We used @telegram so no one was getting a slew of messages in their normal text inbox.

Pick the movie, set a time. Everyone hits play at the same time.

(Yes, there are options for virtual watch parties, but this one works well for any streaming platform and without having to figure out much additional tech)

Group chat is crucial! Talk shit about the characters! Play marry, fuck, kill feat the characters! Discuss the outfits! Have a resident IMDB dork pull trivia from the movie page and drop it at opportune moments!

2. Download @MarcoPoloApp & recruit friends/fam to do the same. Humans need to see faces! And it’s low pressure bc it’s asynchronous. You don’t need to be On like you do in a live FaceTime call. Send each other silly videos, do a house tour, video a pretty flower or a pet.

3. Set up phone dates with peripheral friends. You know those people you know and like but you really only see them at parties?

Ask if they’d like to catch up. Ask them how they are. Focus on them and their problems for a bit.

It helps to take your focus off your own pain.

4. Make a to-do list of your human basics. This is your daily minimum.

Maybe it looks like:

Eat a meal
Shower
Brush teeth & hair
Change clothes
Feed pets

And that’s it!!! And if you do it, that’s a HUGE WIN.

This may seem silly - or you may balk at this.

When you are deeply depressed, struggling with basic care is NORMAL. It’s not a personal failure.

You did not fail. You are not suddenly a child or stupid or whatever you are telling yourself. This shit is hard. Make the list.

5. identify 2-4 close friends or family members that you trust. These need to be people who are largely non-judgmental and who love you - no doubt about that.

Send a text that says something like:

“Hey, I’m reaching out because I’m having a hard time. My mental health is suffering & I need some additional support, although I’m still figuring out what that looks like. I’m reaching out to a couple of people to be transparent about what’s going on bc that seems important.”

Invite them to the movie event - or even ask if one of them is willing to set it up if it feels too overwhelming to do yourself.

Ask them to download MP and send those videos.

Ask for THEIR suggestions on how to deal with this. Do they have any experience with this too?

Share your list with them - not because they’re going to parent you or be responsible for it, but that way you can share your wins with them.

And if they haven’t heard from you they can gently check in and ask how it’s going.

Depression and suffering thrive in darkness and isolation. these kinds of things *feel* insular, and that sense of aloneness magnifies them.

It is hard to talk about this with the people in your life, but even the act of doing so can help. It’s like a little pressure valve.

The people who love you will still love you when you’re struggling. They *want* to help. It’s a gift to them as much as it is to you. They benefit from it as much as you do.

You can try some of these strategies - and you can share them with those supportive friends - but you can also say, “I know I need support but I don’t know what that looks like,” or “I am trying these things but I don’t know if they’re what I need yet.”

It’s okay to not know.

Lastly, I recommend trying a new hobby that keeps your hands busy. Start drawing. Learn to knit or crotchet. Pick up macrame. Get really into crossword puzzles or sudoku. Whatever.

It doesn’t matter if you’re terrible at it. In fact, it’s better if you’re terrible at it. You’re trying to just focus on something that isn’t your own spiral.

Even if you’re glued to bed, just find something to keep your hands and mind a little busy. Even while laying down.

There is nothing about this that has a simple or an easy solution. Please be kind to yourself. As you’ve heard, we are in unprecedented times.

Again, you are not failing. You are reacting *normally* to abnormal circumstances. The trick is to keep going.