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Nobody wants to talk about this bc it's such an uncomfortable topic but someone has to do it so let's talk about the elephant in the room.
Let's talk about kids who grew up convinced they "seduced" their abuser.
Neglected kids who imitated grown women in order to get attention.
Let's talk about kids who grew up convinced they "seduced" their abuser.
Neglected kids who imitated grown women in order to get attention.
Let's talk about 7 year olds who want affection and see adult women get it when they undress or do sexy poses so they imitate that and try to get affection/attention from adult men.
Those kids probably realize only very late in life that they were abused as kids.
Those kids probably realize only very late in life that they were abused as kids.
They think they seduced the adults on purpose so "it's only fair" they were hurt sexually by said adults.
Nobody wants to think about this bc "kids are always only pure and would never do something like that" but it does happen and the shame those kids grow up with is terrible.
Nobody wants to think about this bc "kids are always only pure and would never do something like that" but it does happen and the shame those kids grow up with is terrible.
Now, when some of these kids grow up and get into kinks like ddlg/cgl, they're shamed for it.
Kinks like that let them get that attention/affection they innocently craved back then but without the abuse.
It's healing and wholesome regardless of whether it involves sex.
Kinks like that let them get that attention/affection they innocently craved back then but without the abuse.
It's healing and wholesome regardless of whether it involves sex.
Now think about what that (now adult) survivor really hears when someone sees them pose cutely, holding a stuffie, spreading their legs and winking seductively at their caregiver... and they say "ew gross, what a disgusting freak! you're responsible for normalizing child abuse!"
What message is really internalized by the survivor?
"Look at child(ish) you being a disgusting freak. Child abusers abuse kids because of dirty gross bad kids like you who encourage them to do it! It's your fault!"
That's the message that's really being sent.
"Look at child(ish) you being a disgusting freak. Child abusers abuse kids because of dirty gross bad kids like you who encourage them to do it! It's your fault!"
That's the message that's really being sent.
You can't claim to care about survivors as a whole when you're the kind of person who hurts us the most.
Kinkshaming a survivor is victim blaming.
Kink has been (is still) used by abusers against victims in court to claim their victim was a "freak" whose word can't be trusted.
Kinkshaming a survivor is victim blaming.
Kink has been (is still) used by abusers against victims in court to claim their victim was a "freak" whose word can't be trusted.
You have no idea what that person has been through, you can't know what each and every aspect of kinky play means to them just like you can't know their triggers.
You can't know about the nights they've cried because of how happy, safe and relieved they felt after a scene.
You can't know about the nights they've cried because of how happy, safe and relieved they felt after a scene.
You can't know about the way their voice trembles from how emotional they feel whenever they talk about their lover/spouse and Caregiver bc of how much it all means to them, how lucky they feel to have been fully accepted by them just as they are, without shame or judgement.
You know nothing! Absolutely nothing, yet you feel entitled to point your finger and say "you deserve to be euthanized!", "i hope someone rips off your genitals","id beat you up if i met u" as if you dont sounds like a fucking fascist devoid of any empathy for another human being
Not to mention the inherent ableism of that, bc trauma conditions are often what makes this sort of kinks especially good for many survivors.
It's not a choice, something we just wake up one day decide to be into. So you're also shaming someone for their trauma condition.
It's not a choice, something we just wake up one day decide to be into. So you're also shaming someone for their trauma condition.
There's just nothing positive about kinkshaming, nothing "woke" or "morally good" in it. It just shows how much of an insensitive jerk you are.
You just love hurting others and want an acceptable enough target ppl won't give you shit for hurting. Might as well become a cop then.
You just love hurting others and want an acceptable enough target ppl won't give you shit for hurting. Might as well become a cop then.
