1.

It’s National Coming Out Day

A couple thoughts from me:

Coming out is personal and it’s a journey. We actually don’t owe anyone an explanation.

Don’t rush it if you’re not ready.

If you decide to come out, it doesn’t have to be anything official or grand.

2.

Heterosexual people don’t have to come out.

Labels put people in a box sometimes. You do not fit in any particular box. That’s OK.

Your health & safety is a priority so try to surround yourself with support. Seek help if you’re stuck. There are some orgs online.

3.

PARENTS

Just my 2 cents: don’t pressure your children to come out.
Create an environment where they would feel comfortable doing it on their own when the time is right.

4.

People stay in the closet for a reason. This world is UNKIND to say the least. Gay jokes, violence, homophobia, Bible verses about abominations, & shame are just a few reasons.

It’s therefore INSULTING to ask, “Why didn’t you tell me?!” If & when your loved one does.

5.

Speaking personally, I always knew I was gay. Always. I didn’t always know what to call it but I knew.

There is no day in kindergarten when kids decide if they are straight. Same goes for gay kids. It ain’t a choice.

6.

I had girlfriends and dated girls to try and fit in. Girls are hot. But, I did it to make my family proud & to impress my guy friends.

The alternative was ridicule.

Even though I knew I was gay, I struggled throughout my childhood, teens and early 20s to accept it.

7.

My childhood was mostly anxiety and shame—hiding behind a smile.

My teens were denial denial denial with a dash of RAGING HORMONES.

My early 20s were acceptance but torturous silence & loneliness.

It was all for survival & I’m tough as shit for it.

8.

I did a lot of things to prove I was a “real man”.

I went to the Naval Academy (yes to serve my country and be a leader but also to prove I was good enough.)

I overachieved, especially physically, to compensate for my insecurity.

9.

I became a master of deception; putting a smile on when I was slowly being eaten alive by fear.

Fear of what? Being outed by the dreaded question: “Are you gay”?

My life was consumed by avoiding this question, doing everything I could to throw people off “the scent”.

10.

I got away with it for the most part. The older I got, the more challenging it became.

The Naval Academy was the most challenging 4 years of my life.

Then I became a US Marine and it was even MORE challenging. To be continued...

11.

I had some peace of mind only because I convinced myself that “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” was my cover from the dreaded question. I felt safe because I didn’t have to talk about my sexuality.

When DADT was repealed in 2011, I was shook.

More details later...

12.

I told one single Marine (a dear friend) that I was gay upon my departure from the Marine Corps right before I left active duty in 2015.

That friend embraced me & felt honored that I confided in him. It was not the reaction I expected but it was so relieving & welcome.

13.

I have more but just to wrap it up, coming out is very terrifying. It’s also liberating.

It’s also not a one time thing. Every new job I get, I have to test the waters and basically come out again. The good news is that it gets easier.

14.

Getting older means you give less fucks. And so at age 34, I’m pretty comfortable with being me. I couldn’t always say that.

I feel like my struggles have made me extra resilient.

I know what challenges are.
You can’t really break me. I’m one of the lucky ones.

15.

I am successful, employed, & college educated. I like movies, some sports, and working out. I love music, baked goods, and vacations. I really dig outer space.

I pay my taxes on time and try to contribute to society.

I just HAPPEN to find dudes attractive.

16.

Being yourself beats being someone else anytime and if the people in your life truly care about you, they will appreciate the real you.

Whether your gay, bi, or a little curious sometimes, just be you.

It’s OK.

Not your...you’re*

Ugh. damn it. Thread ruined.