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Wife& #39;s water has broken and she& #39;s having contractions so I am starting a game of Civilization.
I& #39;m not being inconsiderate. I just know that baby will come if I get into this, so I am short circuiting this whole thing
Just so we& #39;re clear here.
Shes not lying in a pool of sweat and innards, screaming.
She& #39;s on the couch reading.
Shes not lying in a pool of sweat and innards, screaming.
She& #39;s on the couch reading.
Right. At the hospital now.
Let& #39;s see if we& #39;re staying or not.
Lots of heavily pregnant women and confused looking men here.
Being kept separate for now.
Let& #39;s see if we& #39;re staying or not.
Lots of heavily pregnant women and confused looking men here.
Being kept separate for now.
Seen two pissed off critically pregnant women roaming the halls, unsuccessfully looking for their men.
Maybe there& #39;s a bar in this hospital somewhere?
Maybe there& #39;s a bar in this hospital somewhere?
Haha so occasionally you have critically pregnant women wandering about to get gravity to do its thing and one dude keeps offering his chair to them as they waddle by.
It& #39;s sweet, but he doesn& #39;t get it.
LET THE GIANT ANGRY WOMEN WADDLE YOU FOOL!
It& #39;s sweet, but he doesn& #39;t get it.
LET THE GIANT ANGRY WOMEN WADDLE YOU FOOL!
This is boring.
Might go try and steal a baby.
Not to keep, just to test their security setup.
Might go try and steal a baby.
Not to keep, just to test their security setup.
At this moment I hard back to the olden times where a man was just expected to be down in the pub, drinking his bodyweight in scotch as he waits to hear if anyone survived
And heading home again sans baby.
Coming back later tonight.
Baby should be induced tomorrow.
Coming back later tonight.
Baby should be induced tomorrow.
I mean I guess the baby is with us, just not in the expected manner
BACK IN THE HOSPITAL!
Scans, blood tests, seeing how many gummibears space there is in there, rorschach and urine tests for me.
Can confirm, tastes ok.
Scans, blood tests, seeing how many gummibears space there is in there, rorschach and urine tests for me.
Can confirm, tastes ok.
I just know if I hang out here enough I& #39;ll be mistaken for a doctor and be asked to save someone& #39;s life, it& #39;s guaranteed. Something about my aura.
And the fact that I am dressed like a doctor
And the fact that I am dressed like a doctor
Still here. Way past my bedtime.
Might try and squeeze into one of those incubator pod things.
Look nice and warm in there... Maybe I can get a nice little beany too.
Might try and squeeze into one of those incubator pod things.
Look nice and warm in there... Maybe I can get a nice little beany too.
Still here ..
They& #39;re keeping Yumi here and inducing and putting her on antibiotics and sending me home.
Starting to be less fun...
They& #39;re keeping Yumi here and inducing and putting her on antibiotics and sending me home.
Starting to be less fun...
Still here...
STILL HERE!
All the midwives look the same.
White, 27, tall and slim. I& #39;m struggling to keep them apart.
Coming up for 24 hours awake.
Party*! Whooooo
.
.
.
.
.
*Oh God I want to sleep
All the midwives look the same.
White, 27, tall and slim. I& #39;m struggling to keep them apart.
Coming up for 24 hours awake.
Party*! Whooooo
.
.
.
.
.
*Oh God I want to sleep
I passed out sitting upright in a plastic chair for 20 minutes.
The most powerest of power naps.
Moving into the big room now.
Wonder where the wife is going to lie...
The most powerest of power naps.
Moving into the big room now.
Wonder where the wife is going to lie...
Yumi is pumped full of drugs and is napping before the end boss.
I only got some poor coffee.
Where are my drugs?
Socialised medicine my arse.
I only got some poor coffee.
Where are my drugs?
Socialised medicine my arse.
This is what socialist medicine gets you. Cold toast and cheese.
Monstrous.
At least there& #39;s no bill at the end of this
Monstrous.
At least there& #39;s no bill at the end of this
Doc 1: "Nurse, what& #39;s the read out on the screen thingy with all the lights?"
Nurse: "119/69 doctor."
Doc 2: "Nice"
Doc 3: "Do you concur doctor?"
Doc 1: "Yes I concur. Nice".
Nurse: "119/69 doctor."
Doc 2: "Nice"
Doc 3: "Do you concur doctor?"
Doc 1: "Yes I concur. Nice".
Who knew that trying to sleep upright, in a plastic chair, with your head on a stone windowsill would cause a crooked neck.
I fear I have undone 8 months of lockdown yoga in one rough night
I fear I have undone 8 months of lockdown yoga in one rough night
Not updated in a few hours.
Awake 30 hours.
Tired, bored, slow.
Canteen only has gluten.
Yumi is mostly dozing between contractions.
I am mostly uncomfortable between periods of fuck all.
Send funny things.
Awake 30 hours.
Tired, bored, slow.
Canteen only has gluten.
Yumi is mostly dozing between contractions.
I am mostly uncomfortable between periods of fuck all.
Send funny things.
Might go swap some babies for lols.
I am keeping myself (and maybe Yumi) entertained by improvising a new nurse character.
She& #39;s east German, former DDR shotput bronze medalist and believes only "Winners deserve babies".
"Push to victory like Lenin did!"
She& #39;s east German, former DDR shotput bronze medalist and believes only "Winners deserve babies".
"Push to victory like Lenin did!"
Might see if the other dads are in for some gambling action.
- Heaviest baby
- Gender bets
- Arrival time bets
- hair/no hair
- deathpool
Etc
- Heaviest baby
- Gender bets
- Arrival time bets
- hair/no hair
- deathpool
Etc
Some head has been spotted.
Looks like it& #39;s go time.
Looks like it& #39;s go time.
I mean this could still take hours, but the midwife is doing a lot of body shaking action.
Well that sucked.
To celebrate being awake for 2 days I farted in the room with all the incubators.
To celebrate being awake for 2 days I farted in the room with all the incubators.
