#worldmentalhealthday2020

THREAD:

I've suffered from depression since secondary school. I had my first panic attack before I'd made my confirmation. I had my first nervous breakdown at the age of 16. I've been to hell, got out and been back again more times than I care to

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remember. I could be here writing until January and wouldn't be able to do justice to the absolute hell that depression, anxiety and panic attacks have wrought on me personally for at least two thirds of my life. I've self harmed many times, had constant thoughts of suicide

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and battled drink and gambling addiction. But I'm somehow still here to tell the tale. Following 20 plus years of running away, four years ago I had a horrific breakdown. It destroyed me, I was done. The fear, sickness and hopelessness left me feeling like I only had one

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option. Suicide. Thankfully something made me hold on. It was around that time I found Pieta House. Three times over the following years, for 14 weeks each time, I poured my heart and soul out to my counsellor. I talked about things I had never talk about. Scary feelings

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that I had never before confronted. Demons that I had never dealt with. I used to often feel like vomiting after sessions. I didn't feel it at the time but slowly but surely I was getting better. Those 42 sessions with that counsellor saved my life. I think this demonstrates

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the importance of talking. We hear it all the time "it's good to talk" but it literally is. I haven't drank in 18 years, haven't had a bet in 4 and a half years and I'm slowly but surely getting there. There are days that my depression, anxiety and PTSD will have a go at me

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and that's ok. The difference is I say it now when I'm not feeling so good instead of trying to carry on and tell nobody or try to escape it. If you're feeling alone, anxious, depressed and need help I would plead with you to please talk to someone. There is always hope.

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You might feel alone but you aren't. The best days of your life may be just around the corner and you are far too valuable to leave this world too soon. Please talk to a friend, family member or in confidence to a person at one of the numbers below. You will get through this

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Pieta House: 01 6235606

Aware: 1800 80 48 48

The Samaritans: 116 123

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