So, I think it's about time I addressed the rapidly escalating situation with Ryan Haywood of @RoosterTeeth's @AchievementHunt.

CW: Sexual abuse, grooming, under age sex, rape.

Even the content warning is breaking my heart. Strap in, folks. This is going to be a long one.

For those who are unaware, @AchievementHunt are a group of streamers/entertainers who produce a lot of fantastic video game based content. I've been pretty much addicted for around 8 years, but one particular cast member struck a chord right from the start.

Ryan Haywood.

At first it was his dark sense of humour that caught me, it matched my own all but exactly. The more I watched, the more I liked and identified with him. Laid back, caring, with an endlessly curious scientific mind. His play style in most games matched mine, too.

We share an enthusiasm for pushing what you can do within a game. Can you pick that up? Can I stand on that? What happens if...? The sheer chaos resulting from his (sometimes morbid) imagination earned him the title of 'Mad King'.

He's my age, and has young children.

Amid the massive bouts of depression and anxiety that came with being my becoming a parent, here was this charming, handsome, dorky gamer, with a daughter only a little older than mine, proving that a gamer nerd could be a great parent. That meant the world to me.

Eight years of @AchievementHunt content, five years of being a subscriber to his Twitch channel, being thrilled to be able to meet him in person and thank him for sharing a glimpse of his life and helping enable me to get through some of the darker times.

My six year old daughter has grown up watching his content with me. He wished her goodnight once, she sprinted to bed with such an amazingly happy squeal...

Now I've lied. Said he left @AchievementHunt to spend more time with his family.

She's too young to know the truth.

The allegations are horrific, the evidence impossible to dismiss. Ryan Haywood has been targeting young, female, mentally vulnerable, fans for years. Encouraging them to come to him for support, then turning things sexual.

Not once, not twice, but *continuously*.

The evidence, compounded by his own statement, (admitting he made 'mistakes', and was trying to 'rebuild his life and family'), consists of pics, videos, chat logs, & victim statements.

I can't bring myself to post links to it all, https://www.reddit.com/r/roosterteeth?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share should suffice.

Years ago his Twitch mods were told he was inappropriately messaging a fan. He admitted to it, apologised, and since the fan themselves didn't give consent for the matter to be investigated, it seemed to be a minor incident. A mild breach of social media etiquette.

Now his victims have begun to come forward. There are chat logs & text messages ranging from heavy flirting to outright sexting. There are nude photos, some unmistakably taken in the same room he streams from. There are nude videos. (I never want anything to autoplay ever again.)

There are photos of him in a fan's hotel room during an event.

I believe there are 5 alleged victims as of this moment, two have bravely made their evidence public, one has apparently done so in private, the others have strong circumstantial evidence. All of them are young.

One was 17 when he met with her for sex. She told him she was 18, then revealed the truth afterwards. He wasn't concerned.

Then comes the more ephemeral evidence. Leaving an event early to 'see his kids', which matches the dates and photos provided by one of the victims.

Often staying an extra night in the hotel after events, while all of his colleagues went home.

Never engaging with coworkers outside of the office.

Deliberately making himself seem approachable and supportive of his fans.

There is little doubt that he is a sexual predator. His victims are all vulnerable young girls.

Once is a mistake.
Twice is more than a coincidence.
Three times is a habit.
Four...?
Five...?

I cosplayed as this man. I *hugged* him. I have T-shirts with his image on them. I admired him. I even had quite the crush on him.

Now I hope he ends up behind bars.

I am heartbroken. Our tight-knit community is reeling. His coworkers are shattered.

All I can say is: We're all in this together. We all feel broken and betrayed. I cannot begin to imagine how this must feel to his coworkers, the family of @AchievementHunt. They need the support of the community more than ever.

I haven't slept, I've barely eaten. My mind feels fogged and my heart red-raw. I've lived and breathed @AchievementHunt & this warm, welcoming community for eight long years, and will continue to do so, but for the moment I'm as sickened and stunned as everyone else.

If there are any more victims out there who are afraid to come forward, we're here. Our community, our online family, are still standing. You will be heard, you will be believed, and we will do everything we can to help you through this.