Thanks Maa, for the Daxid.
- a thread on world mental health day.

Growing up, post school ‘play’ for me wasn’t ghar-ghar, it was doctor-doctor in a real flesh & blood hospital where I’d line up & the nurse aunties would make me a mock-card & give me a number to go see my Maa in her chamber when my turn came (magically always at chai-time).

I remembered this time I was 5 - I’d strutted in to see her - putting on the act of being ‘pagal’, swaying, muttering - to be gently told off by Maa.

She wrote me a prescription in her prescription pad saying, ‘Draw once a day in your drawing book.’

There began an education.

‘No you don’t ever get to say that to anyone’ was accompanied by a whack at seven when I’d called my brother an ‘idiot’.

Harmless enough?
Nope.
Idiot: (acc to MW) dated, now offensive : a person affected with extreme intellectual disability

Growing up, I grew up with a sense of the stigma attached to her, conscious of the fact that coming to see a psychiatrist was a ‘hush hush’ thing for most, and aware of her constant (even now, more so now) fight to educate people than a mental illness is just that - an illness.

‘You take a pill, even an injection for your diabetes every day don’t you? Then why not take a pill for your bi-polar disorder?’

‘This can be ‘managed.’

‘There is nothing to be scared of.’

‘Suicide is not a crime, it is not committed’ said her Facebook update some while ago.

This is her WhatsApp DP right now.
If you actually read it through, there’s gems in there.

‘Accept that stress is a normal part of life.’

Her phone rings at all hours.
Anxiety doesn’t come with an appointments.

6:30 am calls ask ‘Aaj doctor-saab baithengi?’ before patients set out from their far away gaon-khedas to come see her.

Depression doesn’t pick favourites between the rich, poor, rural, urban, suburban.

And your Mother having an MD in Psychiatry doesn’t automatically let you off either.

I have anxiety.
I have learned to manage it.
I have taken prescription pills for it, prescribed by my mother - in a handwriting far too neat for a doctor. :)

It was easy for me - as easy as calling Maa.
But for many it isn’t.

People I have dated have trashed ‘that nonsense’.
People who work with me have cried ‘but I don’t want to take medicines, what is wrong with me.’

They are in their 30s, 20s.
I don’t blame them one bit.

A well-meaning friend once said ‘I shouldn’t be doing this to myself.’ when I asked them to pick up my prescription pills for me.’

I should be.

Just like I should be taking a Paracetamol when I get a fever.

No, you don’t get addicted to your anti-depressant or anti-anxiety pill. You stop needing it when you stop needing it. Or not.
And your body tells you that.

I’ve been off pills for 6 years.
And never once have I felt an ‘urge’.

Another one - You don’t have to be rich to see a psychiatrist.

For every psychiatrist/therapist who asks you to pay up 3,000 bucks a visit/there are 10 fantastic shrinks who charge 500-1000 bucks/some take up Pro Bono cases/Govt. Hospitals where treatment is free of cost.

Mental Health comes in all shapes, sizes, packages, but it can be managed. It’s not just about depression / anxiety but stress-management, insomnia, ocd, bipolar disorder, substance use disorders, schizophrenia, phobia, eating disorders, mood disorders, personality disorders ++

Just putting all this out there in the hope that it helps even one person that reads it.

That is all really.

If you need to talk, please please do slide into my DMs.

PS: The correct thing to say is ‘died by suicide’ not committed suicide.