LRT: redwall’s ‘SOME animals are ~inherently evil~ and SOME are ~inherently good~’. was literally my first experience with the sinking realization something I’d liked was like. Rejecting me.

which always makes me roll my eyes when people BS to ignore coding.
I was still at my first gradeschool, so… I was 9, or under 9.

trust me. kids can get a bead on when they are or aren’t being invited to something. You feel it. Even without the words!

Like shit, ask me bout my complicated childhood feelings on ‘Polly Oliver’ protags
Mulan, Tamora Pierce’s lady knight series, lotta fairytales. I didn’t even really know being a trans man was a thing you could be.

I just knew I was happy in the beginning of those stories, and then felt sad at the end, and didn’t know why.

And like. Hooh.
It was because there was always The Reveal, and that was where Baby Me suddenly felt the door close.

And nobody making *those* stories even like… *meant* to do that, you know? Like.

That’s just a sad one for everyone all around there.
But you know, the funny thing about coding is it can go the other way too, you know?

Cause irony of irony, one of the things I credit with helping me figure out I was trans was a literal and in-text explicit sendup of Polly Oliver stories.

Monstrous Regiment. a Discworld book
(My first ever Discworld book, incidentally.)

In retrospect the cover’s delightful hint of gender fuckery was prob why I even picked it up.

And you know? I don’t think Sir Pratchette MEANT to write it For Me.

But it felt like I was being invited to something.
Like (in my opinion) *all* discworld books, it’s a story sort of about taking a good long look at a hoary old fantasy convention. In this case, it’s The Bonny Young Lass Cuts Her Hair And Goes Off To War In Trousers, and to this day I adore it

because!
It opens with the main character cutting their hair off, and feeling guilty they don’t feel guilty about it, and then feeling incredibly annoyed about having to feel guilty.

stares in Transdude With A Story About The Cutting Your Hair Thing
Anyways this thread got away from me and I WILL just start talking about why discworlds gender stuff is imperfect but also fiercely important to me if I don’t go do something else BUT

good god am I glad kids got. like. options. now.
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