I learned something in therapy like a month ish ago and I believe it was called "self-validation" could be wrong. But the idea of this is that when something told to us doesn't resonate with the image we have with ourselves, we naturally deny that it could possibly be true

but when something told to us does resonate with the image we have with ourselves or lies on a similar truth we paint for ourselves, we are quick to agree and go with it because somebody has agreed with our "truth"

So for me, I grew up being called ugly, fat (when I was

literally a fucking size 0), and an embarrassment to even date and that was the truth that I believed of myself even to this day. Being called pretty is actually really hard for me to hear but I'm trying to believe this

Another personal example is that whenever I never gave into people's way, I was painted as a bad guy and that I'm the evil one. So naturally I believed that truth about myself as well and I am trying very hard to unprove it when I don't need to because I was simply

enforcing my boundaries and getting rid of things that no longer resonate with me even when I didn't go the best way about it. But that doesn't make me bad. I'm just human too