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Unloading here. Why not? 
My stepfather called me a few weeks ago and asked to disinterr my mother’s ashes and bring her to a cemetery in the city (PA) he currently lives in with his new wife. I was a bit taken aback by this. I mean, why? Mom is where mom wanted to be.
My stepfather called me a few weeks ago and asked to disinterr my mother’s ashes and bring her to a cemetery in the city (PA) he currently lives in with his new wife. I was a bit taken aback by this. I mean, why? Mom is where mom wanted to be.
A couple of things: this new city (Prince Albert (PA)) is a place mom lived in and spent part of her youth in. It’s not unfamiliar territory to her. And I haven’t lived in Saskatoon for years and my kids have moved to Alberta. She doesn’t get a lot of visitors where she is now.
For me, my mom doesn’t exist in that little “urn condo” in that memorial space anyway. She’s in my 
. But I have to admit I was concerned when my stepdad (at first) suggested that she be buried with my grandmother (her mother) who is also buried in that cemetery in PA.
. But I have to admit I was concerned when my stepdad (at first) suggested that she be buried with my grandmother (her mother) who is also buried in that cemetery in PA.
My question to him: “Ok. Then where are you going to be buried?” (As it was always intended that their remains would be placed together.)
Hey, I kind of already knew the answer to that question. Yes, he wanted to be buried with his current wife.
Hey, I kind of already knew the answer to that question. Yes, he wanted to be buried with his current wife.
My mom and stepdad were married for almost 40 years. He raised me since I was 7. I was a bit upset. I’ll admit it. But I tried to step back and be reasonable in my thinking. And I had a few weeks to think about it.
My stepdad called today and asked about it again.
My stepdad called today and asked about it again.
Except as it turns out, he had ALREADY made the arrangements. Unfortunately, he hit a roadblock.
I was executor of my mom’s will. So I have to approve the move and sign the internment arrangement form. He called and asked me to do this.
I was executor of my mom’s will. So I have to approve the move and sign the internment arrangement form. He called and asked me to do this.
Again, I got a bit emotional. But I stayed calm and, instead, asked questions:
Remind me again why you want to do this? Can’t she stay where she is and you go where you want to go? Things like that.
Remind me again why you want to do this? Can’t she stay where she is and you go where you want to go? Things like that.
In asking questions (and instead of losing my sh*t) I found out that...
1) He WASN’T going to be buried with his new wife. But this was because his new wife’s kids wanted HER to be buried with THEIR dad. Relatable.
2) The intent (now) was to move mom to PA so she and my stepdad could be buried together THERE.
2) The intent (now) was to move mom to PA so she and my stepdad could be buried together THERE.
As this town was one of my mom’s old haunts (a home of hers), and her mom is also buried there, I acquiesced. I signed the documents and mom will be on her way soon to be reinterred in Prince Albert.
Did I do the right thing? Anyone else experienced something like this?
Did I do the right thing? Anyone else experienced something like this?
