Tomorrow is #WorldMentalHealthDay #WMHD2020 and, for those of you who have never had mental illness, I just want to try and briefly describe (as best I can) just how depression feels. Disclaimer: this is just my experience.

TW: mental health, depression, suicidal thoughts

Many people think depression is just a deep feeling of sadness, but that description is far too simplistic. #WMHD2020

It is an all encompassing pit of numbness, that makes you feel as though you are no longer an active participant in your own life, instead watching it on black and white television. #WMHD2020

It is like life happens around you, just on your periphery, but you are not really in it. Everything seems to happen so fast and at the same time is extremely drawn out. #WMHD2020

The numbness is accompanied by total hopelessness - it feels as though it will never get better or go away and you are completely powerless to do anything to change that. #WMHD2020

And there’s the guilt, too. Cognitively you know your life may be good, even better than most, yet you still feel how you do and feel extremely guilty for it. #WMHD2020

Even the smallest of tasks become massive asks, and it affects your ability to function in every part of your life. All you want to do is hide away from the world in a space you know is safe. #WMHD2020

And when the feelings of no longer wanting to be here come (and they do!) it’s not a desire to harm yourself, but the will for some form of relief from the utter emptiness of your existence. #WMHD2020

Luckily, the vast, vast majority of the time things get better, and there are professionals out there who want to help you onto that path. If you know someone who is struggling, please encourage them to seek help.

#WMHD2020