11 years ago I was very sick and waiting for life-saving surgery. I had dropped 70lbs in 3 months. I had just broken up with an ex and moved back into central Edmonton. I was walking through the Old Scona neighbourhood back to my apt when I was swarmed by a gang of older teens…

they wanted the bag I was carrying and I was tired and life had beaten me down and I could NOT read the room. I said no.

It was a mistake.

I realized that right away; fists were hitting me, I was being choked by the cord to my own headphones. Hands were going through my pockets.

I stumbled out of the swarm and fell onto the street in front of a moving car which came to a halt. The teens froze. I took advantage…

...I ran to the rear driver's side door of the stranger's car and yanked it open (unlocked, thank god). I slammed it shut and yelled 'please go'.

The driver was pissed but complied for at least a few blocks before stopping again yelling at me to get out.

I limped out of the car. The teens were nowhere to be seen. I hurt everywhere, I was bleeding. My wallet was gone. The stuff I was carrying was gone. My phone, miraculously was not.

I lived. I learned. They got caught ( @bengelinas is responsible for that.) I had closure…

I learned through some trial details that some of them were clients of YESS but it was at capacity or they were unable to be admitted for some reason. I learned how much their lives sucked before and certainly were continuing to suck afterward.

The one I saw directly at trial had been beaten very badly by fellow detainees at the remand centre. I felt no vindication. I just felt like I was watching the system reinforce this cycle again and again.

When it comes to crime (and other things), there's a conservative line about believing in personal responsibility. I hate it.

I could believe as much as I wanted as I was being beaten and mugged that it was their fault. But there I still was…being beaten and mugged regardless.

I hate the political usage of the term 'personal responsibility' because, to me, it is actually somebody declaring an ABDICATION of personal responsibility. That they have no obligation or ability to change things for the better.

But we can.

I can't help it if some kids decide one day they're going to rob this pale, skinny, sick dude by force.

But I can damned well do at least a little bit to make sure there's room at YESS.

I'm a monthly donor and have been for a decade.

I believe that the power of the state needs to be used extremely carefully; it needs limits and it needs accountability. But sometimes it must be used.

So when I hear people with authority to change things for the better with pandemic policies and enforcement instead tell all of us to take personal responsibility…again, I see a complete abdication from that responsibility from the people we explicitly empower to have and use it

And if folks we put in positions of trust and authority are not going to use that authority when it so obviously, demonstratively MATTERS, they shouldn't be there.

(fin)