My two boys. Snapshots.

Me:
And what wouldst thou desire to become if thy were not destined to inherit rule?"

Prince T. (5yrs): "A veterinarian!"
Lord G. (3yrs): "A dragon!"

Marriage comes up.

Prince T. (6yrs): "But I want to be a priest."

Lord G. (4yrs): "Welp, I wanna be a Bad Guy."

Us: ...

@younan3000: "Tell G. it is possible to be both."

@younan3000: "T. (8yrs), you will make a good priest."

Lord G (6yrs): "I will be a bad priest."

@younan3000: "Oh, like me then."

Lord G: "Not as bad as you."

Me: "So, T. (4yrs), start thinking of what you want to write to mommy in your card."

Pause.

Prince T, in a thoughtful four year old's voice: "Dad?"

Me: "Yes?"

Prince T: "I think that G's (2yrs) head is shaped like a bum."

Me: ...

My 4yo Lord G., angrily and indignantly shouting at me at the top of his lungs after I finally successfully corralled him into relieving himself before bed:

"YOU ARE **LUCKY** I WENT PEE!"

Yes. #Blessed, really. It's like I won the fricking lottery.

My 7yo Prince T once tried to convince me to cut off a piece of my finger so he could throw it in San Diego harbor as chum to summon sharks. Like I was the Giving Tree of dads, gladly CUTTING OFF PIECES OF MY OWN BODY merely to *potentially* sate his desire to see sharks...