TW abuse, racism
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a yt woman didn't like me. she put on fake tears and made up a story so people around her would hate me. They held me down and beat the hell out of me. "you're basically a man" they said (because of my masculinity) "tr*nny" another one said. https://twitter.com/wannabeitgurl/status/1314460239597465600
I didn't do anything wrong. But she laughed with her friends that maybe if I wasn't such a manly cunt it wouldn't be so easy to hurt me. As I struggled she pulled out chunks of my hair and clawed at my eyes, my face stung with tears mixing with my fresh wounds.
I tried really hard to be feminine, I thought maybe people wouldn't treat me that way. I was even wearing a pink dress that day, but I was still perceived as masculine because of my race, and my masculine behavior. it still happened.
My masculinity put me into direct harm.
all this time I tried to be feminine thinking "maybe people would treat me better" "maybe people would stop being transphobic towards me" "maybe I just want to be a trans man because I'm misogynistic. I want to be a good ally."
all that led to was me still receiving hate, and I had the honor of feeling like shit every time I left the house.
I got harassment every time I walked out the door. no matter what I did. how I dressed. if I wasn't a "tr*nny" I was a "d*ke"
if I wasn't either of those I was a "n*gg*r"
The hate was always because racism, or because of my masculinity, specifically. Often both.
When I tried talking about it "oh, just try harder to be a woman?"
My mother was so disgusted with her beautiful daughter being masculine that she tried to force femme me. She even shamed me for my small bust "maybe that's why people think you are so manly?" and had me wear breast pads to be less of an embarrassment.
I don't want to hear the words that trans men aren't punished for being masculine ever again, you got that?
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