ive been really thinking for a while and so im gonna rant about how performative anitwt is for a bit
tw racism
but do keep in mind this warning is only for black people. if you are non black (which includes asian and brown people - literally anyone nb) i want you to read this

black people do not have a safe space. literally day after day we're being attacked both in person and on social media. there is literally an anitwt kkk group chat and people are going out of their way to whitewash canonly black/dark skinned characters. day after day i see-

anti-black rhetoric is being spouted with how people will twist the truth and spread lies in order to make black people look bad and support other nb poc who've done worse. i will see people refuse to stop using aave and use neurodivergency as an excuse when finally-

confronted by a black person. of course, they're doing it so that later on they can say the person confronting them is ableist.
im mad. i'm furious about how anti-blackness is still rampant in "safe spaces" and yet i'm still trying to keep my tone neutral and avoid-

speaking too harshly so that i don't get called aggressive. so that i don't get told i'm overreacting and that i should just "block and move on."

this is the problem with anitwt.

you people are so aggressively desensitized to the antiblackness both online and irl. you will see a black person mad about whitewashing and then say "stop reacting. they're just doing this to get a rise out of you. block and move on." but why is that the only -

thing im allowed to do? why am i not allowed to get angry? why do black people have to sit through being sent death threats and being called slurs and just settle for "blocking and moving on" instead of ever getting angry? it's because you people don't actually want-

to hear black voices. you want the illusion of being "woke." you want to settle for retweeting a list of carrds from a white person and never reading them. you want to settle for retweeting a post from an asian person that says "put your anime characters aside -

for TWO seconds and talk about blm!!" before going back to posting about your comfort characters. it's all incredibly performative and i know there's non black people reading this right now who are saying "im not like that," but with time itll be easy to find out-

that you're the exact same way. how do i know? ill give an actual experience i had.

im black, i live in the deep south, and im an honor student. since i have begun this school year, my grades have steadily dropped despite my attempts to study and stay on top of material-

i have reviewed several of my tests and quizzes to see that i have no wrong answers but still am having my grades steadily lowered. my competition, a white boy, has been passing all of his classes with flying colors. we have the same teachers.

i am not able to speak up about this. the entire school staff is white. when i confront my teachers about my grades they do not give straight answers and have even started refusing to let me review my tests/quizzes at all. as an honor student this is incredibly-

stressful for me and

tw // suicide

i have considered suicide several times because i place my identity so heavily on my grades and without them im worthless. i know for a fact that my teachers are racist. there is no other explanation for how me and my -

competitor could have the exact same answers but still get different grades.

i make racist jokes to cope. ive been stressed and on the verge of a breakdown and fully intended to make a "x characters who are racist" thread in order to get a laugh out of my situation, but-

i didnt. i held back because the first time i made such a thread, i was mass blocked and softblocked, vagued on a confessions twitter account, and talked about in group chats and discord servers i had no access to. when i tried to speak up, i was ignored on all-

accounts including the confessions twitter, who never bothered to retweet or post anything i had to say. it was clear that i was no longer welcome in the community.

the fact that i am now too scared to even use a coping mechanism because of the chances -

that ill be mass-blocked again is revolting. black people truly are expected to stay absolutely quiet and show no emotions regarding the racism we face on a daily basis all because non black people will get "uncomfortable" with anything we do.

and i already know what some people are thinking

"if you're not welcome in other communities, why not make your own?"

do you not think we've tried?

blacktober is once again being used by nonblack people for publicity. they'll draw characters with dark skin and gain followers and then never do it again. keep in mind, this is supposed to be a black people-only event

i follow several black people who will go as far as to put the n slur in their handle in order to keep non black people away, and they still have people commenting on their threads saying "this gave me a panic attack" and "thats my comfort character you're being ableist" -

whenever they make racist jokes. there literally is no place for black people to belong. you all just use us for profit and then throw us aside in favor of fetishizing irl asian people and looking at 2d characters. im sick of it

this has been long and winded, i know, but i'll wrap it up now. short and sweet
- do not follow me if you are performative
- do not follow me if you will get upset when i make racist joke threads
- do not follow me if you dont read the carrds in the threads you rt

- do not follow me if you're only using black people for your personal gain and will get upset when we actually try to speak up for ourselves
- do not follow me if you're one of the people who engage in any of the shitty acts i mentioned in this thread

i don't feel like getting mass blocked again. thanks.