Thread by @georgetweets2u, Hello Twitter,I don't often talk about this on here cos it's not [...]

Hello Twitter,
I don't often talk about this on here cos it's not what I care to engage in, but I went to two different private schools across two Australian states and I am gonna talk about it.
You can ask questions, but I'll ignore trolls and anything dumb.
Let's go!

Let's start with some background info: my mum didn't finish high school cos it wasn't an option for her. She wanted us to have everything she couldn't. I attended in the late 90s/early 2000s.
I have one sister. Do not @ me about boys school issues in this thread.

I want to talk about why my parents chose a private school first. My little sister had a huge speech delay (she was mute til age 3) and had clear learning disabilities. My parents visited a LOT of schools (public and private) to find the right place for her.

(Oh actually, before I go on - MEDIA you are NOT welcome to any of these tweets. Fuck right off.)

Ok let's continue. So I was at public primary school but my sister was placed directly into private from prep, as the school my parents chose had a focused program that benefitted her. This was the mid/late 90s - I'm aware many public schools have these programs now.

Let's recap so far: main reasons for my parents choosing private schooling earlier than high school:
-My sister's learning disability and speech delays

Other reasons my parents chose private schooling: smaller class sizes, strong data that girls perform better in single sex environments, extracurricular opportunities
They didn't choose it because of: family history with school, networking, prestige.

The first private school we attended, the entire family adored. The teachers were great, the school gave a shit about my sister's progress and we both had lots of friends and my parents found it easy to make friends with other parents there.

(But I can only speak for MY experiences there in the late 90s/early 2000s. I cannot comment on what the school might be like today, I'd have no bloody clue.)

Another thing my mum LOVED about this school: before and after school care programs. I was raised by two full time working parents, so this was essential to them.

We relocated to another state and once again, my parents looked at a wide range of school options. This included some public schools and coed private schools. I know, cos I remember the discussion.
The school they chose again made the same promises the last had re my sister.

This was really crucial for my parents: that my sister didn't fall through the cracks. She's super bright, very social and incredibly charming. But all that was buried under a pile of learning disabilities and she needed the extra support.

Here's another important thing you need to keep in mind as we go forward: teenagers are VERY good at hiding shit from their parents - especially if both parents work. If they don't want parents to know we are struggling, they'll do everything in their power to cover it up.

So my parents were under the impression that everything was fine. My sister was regularly seeing a specialist who worked with the school. The school assured them all was well. My parents had no reason not to believe them, they're not the type to tell someone how to do their job.

(This might be why sometimes I can be a bit sympathetic to parents who do get over involved in their kids school life. When you've seen what happens when a school fails you, you sorta wish your parents were the overbearing pushy type.)

Anyways. When I was 15, some teachers expressed concerns that I might also have a disability. My parents organised a paediatric psychiatrist and I was diagnosed with ADHD.
The school was subsequently informed, but I wasn't offered ANY sort of extra assistance or support.

This is one moment where you need to remember what I said above about teenagers. I didn't WANT to have ADHD, I didn't WANT to be different, so I fought hard to keep it secret and also hid my struggles from my parents. I dismissed things as nothing and carried on.

I was lucky - I had a handful of teachers who gave a shit. Shout out to my history teacher, political studies teacher and both my French teachers for always having my back. Esp my political studies teacher, who once told me that there was amazing things awaiting me beyond school

(She was right, I might not have fit in at all at school. I had one actual friend and a whole group of waste of timers who beat me down. But I florished at uni.)

Now remember my ADHD? It's no secret I'm a LOT. Like I have no filter and I'm not the best at waiting my turn. This was amplified in my teen years. There were some truly shit teachers who didn't like me and subsequently made sure my sister suffered cos they didn't like me.

So there's my sister, already fallen through the cracks at this point, struggling with school, convinced she's the biggest idiot on the planet... and you've got teachers who automatically made her life harder cos of me.
Thank you assholes, you're the reason we're semi-estranged.

Now let's add another element: a friend of mine from another school was helping my sister with her homework one night. She pulled my mum aside and told her my sister was likely dyslexic.
My sister was in year 11.

The fact that a 19 year old picked up on a new layer to my sister's learning disability that a school that trained educators and SPECIALISTS allegedly supporting my sister didn't pick up? Yeah you can imagine my parents anger.

I'm not gonna go into specifics, but shit got bad for that school. If you ask my parents now, they have very little positive to say about that school.
I know they regret it immensely and wish they'd done things differently.

Do I blame my parents? No. They were duped by wider society and the school itself into believing that this was the best choice for their kids. Like all parents, they're no where near perfect, but they love us and sometimes that results in shitty choices. Expensive shitty choices.

And that's why many middle class parents, (This doesn't included legacy/alumni parents), choose private schools: cos they're lead to believe that that's the best option for their kid. That their kid will be taken care of and receive the attention they need.

It's easier now to see that private schools aren't all theyre cracked up to be. So it's harder to make those excuses, but you can totally see how it happens.

I will say some nice things about the second school I attended now, just for balance:
-The LOTE department was second to none. I was so lucky to have a really immersive French program that truly helped me master the language.

-The theatre and dance departments were fabulous. I wasn't particularly involved in them, but my sister was and many others were and they'll all say the same thing.
-I have one truly lovely friend from high school, I'll forever cherish her.

That friend is the granddaughter of a former mining magnate. She was v uncool but inherited millions of dollars when we were 15 or 16. Word got out around school (except to me, somehow I missed the memo) and suddenly kids were bribing her to get new phones, etc out of her.

The school caught on really quickly and handled it REALLY well. I will give them props for that. (But fuck those entitled shits who took advantage of a girl desperate to be cool and liked by others and made her buy their love.)

(I was aware of her being bribed, I told my parents about it. I didn't know about the inheritance. Also I NEVER took anything from her that wasn't a birthday present or like... 50 cents cos I was short my bus fare. I know better than that.)

So that's another small tick for the school: a tough anti bullying policy that stamped out this truly toxic behaviour very quickly.

Actually, over all, the anti bullying policy worked. The media, especially movies and tv shows, often like to overblow how toxic all-girl environments can be because misogyny. What you'll find is that it's more just a place full of nerds who wanna be CEOs and politicians.

(This isn't to say that there was no bullying and it was some perfect feminist utopia. Cos obviously, it's still full of insecure teenagers who can go down some pretty whack paths - the 'pick me' girls, the 'i'm not like other girls' girls, etc, etc.)

We also had comprehensive, no holds barred sex ed and religious ed. Like our sex ed was good for 2005/06 standards. It even briefly mentioned same sex relationships!
In religious ed, we learned about every religion and one teacher was a former cult member who shared her story

I still believe that girls thrive in a single sex environment. Without boys, girls are more likely to speak up, have opinions and not be afraid of their own voices. Removing boys meant we were ruthlessly unafraid of our own thoughts and feelings.

(It'd be cool to find a way to allow this to sometimes happen in coed schools? I don't know how it'd work, but maybe someone else does.)

Do I believe in private schools and would I send my future kids to one now? No. And there's zero expectation from my parents that I should. I'll make the best choices that I know how to make. Same as they did. And like them, I'll definitely make mistakes.

Also, just because I said parents can easily be duped into thinking private schooling is the best option, does NOT mean that I think that parents should let their kids schools sweep bad behaviour under the rug.

(focusing on recent example) It horrifies me that Shore parents took to social media to be like "proud shore parent", when they should have been saying shit like "we will do better at home and demand better from the school". But I also know those type of parents, so its expected.

In my own personal experience, private boys schools are far more toxic and dangerous to society than girls schools. And studies have shown that girls do better in single sex environments, while boys become more dangerous and are worse off in them.

Anyways, that's all I have to say for now. I figured with the ongoing discourse about why we should end private schooling in Australia, I'd share my experiences - both the good and bad. Happy to answer questions. Fuck off trolls and any media.

If you've reached the end of this thread: be kind to one another, never stop learning and try to find ways to make your corner of the world a slightly nicer place to live for as many folks as possible.

(Oh! and I should add: I also attended two public schools. We moved around a lot.)

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