In December 2018, one of my Instagram followers, Derin announced a giveaway she organised in collaboration with a Designer; it was a gorgeous Green Dress she had previously won to a wedding.

Loved & admired it!
Enthusiastically, I stretched my phone out to my ex-lover who was next to me and showed him the dress.

Told him I wanted to participate as I would love to style myself in it.

I was so excited!
I remember him looking at me with side-eye, sort of like he was embarrassed & concerned that I was "going to publicly campaign for a dress?"

As I continued to bask in my excitement he blurted out with, "baaaabe! You know we can just buy the dress, just find out how much."
Rolling my eyes, I told him it wasn& #39;t about affordability.

I spend money on clothes......I am regularly adorned in them [cheap & expensive]; if I wanted to use money to get the dress I would purchase it.
If there is an opportunity to grasp something you desire go for it.

And there is absolutely no shame publicly campaigning for it.
I ignored him & went on to participate—sending messages, asking close friends/family to vote.
At first, I wasn& #39;t that serious with the amount of people I was contacting, until my friend brought it to my attention that though I was already winning, the competiton was ongoing for 3days or so.

I knew if I relaxed with the campaign other contenders could catch up.
So I started messaging everyone I could on WhatsApp/Instagram DMs/Twitter.

I remember it being Awks at 1st, because I had to interact with people I hadn& #39;t spoken to in eons/at all—asking them to please visit her page to like her picture + my comment.

I followed all the rules.
I always remember how vulnerable that moment was for me, but I felt empowered by how much people wanted me to win—they went ham and their support was energizing!

They were already commenting on how they couldn& #39;t wait to see me rock it.
Anyway, I eventually won with a landslide, while she equally acquired more followers—it was a win-win.

I publicly thanked everyone that voted with a post on Instagram & twitter, as it wasn& #39;t only my victory —a lot of people stretched to ensure I won that dress.
So after the competiton, Derin congratulated me and sent me a DM attached with the Designer& #39;s number—she asked me to reach out to her with my measurements and other details.
I already thought this was not proper, because as a collaborator with the designer, I expected her to initiate the line of communication.

But I went ahead regardless and initiated contact with the designer.
3 months after, March precisely still no follow-up from both parties after I sent my details.

I reached out to Derin via WhatsApp, asking when the dress could be sent to Abuja as a friend was visiting & I wanted her to come along with it.
I never got any update from them. In fact, my friend had visited UK & gone back.

I had almost forgotten about the dress, till people started randomly asking me about it.

They were all baffled when I said I hadn& #39;t recieved it.
So I reached out to Derin for the 2nd time after another opportunity to get the dress into UK came in April.

I couldn& #39;t wait to style the heck out of it.
This time she expressed shock on the fact that I hadn& #39;t recieved the dress.....

And complained about the designers terrible phone etiquette—said she will reach out to the her.

Later on, she apolosgied with a screenshot of her "scolding the designer" via WhatsApp.
The irony for me was the fact that they were friends/acquaintances, so I expected the communication to have been easily handled between them.

Days.....weeks......months passed.....still no dress, no communication or update from Derin & the designer.
After ranting about it to loved ones, I made a decision to let it go....or so I thought.

Until I ran into her in Lagos last year, this is 1 year after, still without the dress.

After an awkward moment of pleasantries, seeing her triggered every unpleasant memory in me.
The next day, I picked up my phone and sent her a DM expressing my displeasure.

She defensively argued that "it didnt cost me anything to tell her [after 2 reminders oh], and didn& #39;t think me calling her & #39;inconsiderate and dishonourable was necessary.& #39;"
I broke it down to her, explaining how her actions matched those words.
I don& #39;t just throw words around at people as a dagger.
Maybe she truly assumed I hadn& #39;t recieved the dress, but I gave enough excuses for her: she interacts with me on Instagram, there is no way I wont have rocked it/mentioned her. She has gifted me a dress I commented on via snapchat while in that England, and she ensured I got it.
So I don& #39;t think there are any excuses to give.
I stand by the fact that her actions lacked concern and was dishonourable.

I have hosted giveaways with my brands & my team ensured all our winners recieved their gifts.
Typical me, would have since addressed that kind of treatment from a brand on my social media platforms.
But I was avoiding the unpleasant energy from Nigerians echoing the "trying to bring someone down" gospel—especially after you& #39;ve publicly called out a displeasing service.
Moreso, if you play the victim by deflecting, without trying to make amends after being called out for not delivering the services you promised then you aren& #39;t really sorry as a brand.

And my compassion & empathy doesn& #39;t extend that way.
We can& #39;t keep complaining about our government, if we are regurgitating the parts of them we don& #39;t want [peep my bio].

If you can do this within your circle of influence, what will you do to those who can& #39;t access you?
Please let& #39;s strive to do the honourable thing with each other, regardless of what you stand to gain; that& #39;s how we can evolve and heal the collective conscious.
You can follow @MoonIsShinning.
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