In December 2018, one of my Instagram followers, Derin announced a giveaway she organised in collaboration with a Designer; it was a gorgeous Green Dress she had previously won to a wedding.

Loved & admired it!

Enthusiastically, I stretched my phone out to my ex-lover who was next to me and showed him the dress.

Told him I wanted to participate as I would love to style myself in it.

I was so excited!

I remember him looking at me with side-eye, sort of like he was embarrassed & concerned that I was "going to publicly campaign for a dress?"

As I continued to bask in my excitement he blurted out with, "baaaabe! You know we can just buy the dress, just find out how much."

Rolling my eyes, I told him it wasn't about affordability.

I spend money on clothes......I am regularly adorned in them [cheap & expensive]; if I wanted to use money to get the dress I would purchase it.

If there is an opportunity to grasp something you desire go for it.

And there is absolutely no shame publicly campaigning for it.

I ignored him & went on to participate—sending messages, asking close friends/family to vote.

At first, I wasn't that serious with the amount of people I was contacting, until my friend brought it to my attention that though I was already winning, the competiton was ongoing for 3days or so.

I knew if I relaxed with the campaign other contenders could catch up.

So I started messaging everyone I could on WhatsApp/Instagram DMs/Twitter.

I remember it being Awks at 1st, because I had to interact with people I hadn't spoken to in eons/at all—asking them to please visit her page to like her picture + my comment.

I followed all the rules.

I always remember how vulnerable that moment was for me, but I felt empowered by how much people wanted me to win—they went ham and their support was energizing!

They were already commenting on how they couldn't wait to see me rock it.

Anyway, I eventually won with a landslide, while she equally acquired more followers—it was a win-win.

I publicly thanked everyone that voted with a post on Instagram & twitter, as it wasn't only my victory —a lot of people stretched to ensure I won that dress.

So after the competiton, Derin congratulated me and sent me a DM attached with the Designer's number—she asked me to reach out to her with my measurements and other details.

I already thought this was not proper, because as a collaborator with the designer, I expected her to initiate the line of communication.

But I went ahead regardless and initiated contact with the designer.

3 months after, March precisely still no follow-up from both parties after I sent my details.

I reached out to Derin via WhatsApp, asking when the dress could be sent to Abuja as a friend was visiting & I wanted her to come along with it.

I never got any update from them. In fact, my friend had visited UK & gone back.

I had almost forgotten about the dress, till people started randomly asking me about it.

They were all baffled when I said I hadn't recieved it.

So I reached out to Derin for the 2nd time after another opportunity to get the dress into UK came in April.

I couldn't wait to style the heck out of it.

This time she expressed shock on the fact that I hadn't recieved the dress.....

And complained about the designers terrible phone etiquette—said she will reach out to the her.

Later on, she apolosgied with a screenshot of her "scolding the designer" via WhatsApp.

The irony for me was the fact that they were friends/acquaintances, so I expected the communication to have been easily handled between them.

Days.....weeks......months passed.....still no dress, no communication or update from Derin & the designer.

After ranting about it to loved ones, I made a decision to let it go....or so I thought.

Until I ran into her in Lagos last year, this is 1 year after, still without the dress.

After an awkward moment of pleasantries, seeing her triggered every unpleasant memory in me.

The next day, I picked up my phone and sent her a DM expressing my displeasure.

She defensively argued that "it didnt cost me anything to tell her [after 2 reminders oh], and didn't think me calling her 'inconsiderate and dishonourable was necessary.'"

I broke it down to her, explaining how her actions matched those words.
I don't just throw words around at people as a dagger.

Maybe she truly assumed I hadn't recieved the dress, but I gave enough excuses for her: she interacts with me on Instagram, there is no way I wont have rocked it/mentioned her. She has gifted me a dress I commented on via snapchat while in that England, and she ensured I got it.

So I don't think there are any excuses to give.
I stand by the fact that her actions lacked concern and was dishonourable.

I have hosted giveaways with my brands & my team ensured all our winners recieved their gifts.

Typical me, would have since addressed that kind of treatment from a brand on my social media platforms.
But I was avoiding the unpleasant energy from Nigerians echoing the "trying to bring someone down" gospel—especially after you've publicly called out a displeasing service.

Moreso, if you play the victim by deflecting, without trying to make amends after being called out for not delivering the services you promised then you aren't really sorry as a brand.

And my compassion & empathy doesn't extend that way.

We can't keep complaining about our government, if we are regurgitating the parts of them we don't want [peep my bio].

If you can do this within your circle of influence, what will you do to those who can't access you?

Please let's strive to do the honourable thing with each other, regardless of what you stand to gain; that's how we can evolve and heal the collective conscious.