I don't know who needs to hear this but (thread):

All my best work comes from rage and trauma. All the work other people like comes from rage or trauma. I choose to deliberately expose myself to triggers because it is the only way I can do effective work.

My work matters to me. A lot.

Also, because of my history, a certain amount of trauma is unavoidable.

As a result of these two things, I am not an easy person. I am a hard person. If you like the work I do, part of what you like about me is that I am a hard person.

I don't even know if I could be an easy person. But I know I can't be a hard person when you and I want me to be for work, and an easy person the rest of the time.

Trauma doesn't turn on and off like a faucet.

You may not want to deal with a hard person in your life. Maybe you even can't. I can respect that and wish you well. There are things I don't want to or can't deal with, too.

But don't come into my life because you like my work and then demand that I be easy. It's impossible.