something that doesnt get talked about enough is reactive abuse. reactive abuse is when the victim reacts to the abuse they’re experiencing. it can look like screaming, verbal insults, or physically lashing out.

narcissists will seem like the calm one in this situation, especially if they’re recording. abusers will gaslight, dog whistle, and do anything to get victims to react so that they can blame shift. the abuser retaliates by telling the victim that they are in fact the abuser.

Being calm with an abuser is literally a trigger for them. Thats cuz they realize they are the problem, & thats an issue, especially for the narcissist. Thats when they’ll push you to make you react. That’s how they calm down, when the blame is shifted on someone else.

Understand that a lot of victims don’t speak up because they’ve been in situations where they’ve shown abusive behaviors or lost control. This is food for thought the next time you want to judge someone’s situation.

https://breakthesilencedv.org/reactive-abuse-what-it-is-and-why-abusers-rely-on-it/