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Thread >> Five years ago, I started recording audio on my phone of my beloved grandma Helen talking about her life. Each time I visited her in PA, I asked a few questions while we cooked or putzed. What's your earliest memory? Have you always been interested in politics?
What did you want to be when you grew up? Things like that.
Not sure what originally possessed me to do this, but I kept it up over the years. Sometimes I recorded our conversations for 5 minutes, sometimes more than an hour. I have tons of these files now and I TREASURE them.
Not sure what originally possessed me to do this, but I kept it up over the years. Sometimes I recorded our conversations for 5 minutes, sometimes more than an hour. I have tons of these files now and I TREASURE them.
I was curious about her life - my grandma was born in 1929 and was a pioneer in many ways. She went to grad school when most women didn't do that kind of thing, she was the first female deacon at her Baptist church (in Southwestern, PA), she NEVER missed a vote..
During our talks, I learned that she had really wanted to be a history teacher, but it was still seen as more of a male role, so she got around this by teaching reading and centered her classes around the daily news so she could still teach current events.
She soon learned an alarming number of her 7th grade students couldn't read. So she talked the local paper (the Observer-Reporter in Washington, PA @oronline) into donating newspapers to her class.
She taught hundreds of kids to read this way & became a lifelong literacy advocate. Her proudest achievement - she would not even hesitate on this - was launching a baby book bag program so every baby born at her local hospital (since 1994!) has been given free books at birth.
I learned that *her* grandmother was so into politics that she insisted FDR's photo hang over the bed even though her grandfather was a staunch Republican.
Did they still talk politics in a fiercely divided home? "Oh yeah! We always talked politics."
Did they still talk politics in a fiercely divided home? "Oh yeah! We always talked politics."
I learned all sorts of interesting things about my grandma's life this way. I am so thankful to have bits and pieces of her story on tape (er voice memo)!
But what I did not understand at the time was how much these audio files would later end up being a gift to my grandma.
But what I did not understand at the time was how much these audio files would later end up being a gift to my grandma.
By last summer, my grandma's dementia had progressed so much she was pretty out of it. She couldn't focus on anything and constantly asked what she was supposed to do next as she became increasingly agitated. "What am I doing? What am I supposed to do?" It was awful to watch.
During one of these episodes, I remembered I had the recordings on my phone and I asked my grandma if she'd like to listen to them. We pulled one up and she immediately became calm and intently listened to her (earlier) self recount scenes from her life.
It was one of the most moving things I've ever witnessed. I hadn't seen her pay attention to anything for more than a few fleeting seconds in a long time, but she recognized this, this was her story - she just couldn't call it up on her own anymore. 
It made me wish I had done this with my dad before he died. I wish I had preserved some of his story in his own words before he also slid into the dementia abyss. I would have played it back in his final days, because dying is SO MUCH HARDER when you cannot remember your own life
This week, my mom is sitting with my grandma as she begins to let go (thankfully, w/COVID, one visitor is allowed). My mom is able to play back some of my grandma's story to her, as we all tell her it's okay to go now. She's had an amazing life and we are going to remember it.
If you have an aging loved one, I cannot recommend this enough: Record some of their story. Do it over the phone or zoom, if you must. Ask about their life before it's too late. It is such a precious gift. 
