This has been bothering me for a long time and I can't keep it in any longer. We need to talk about the problem with Dunfermline Athletic mascot Sammy the Tammy.

For the non-Scottish among us, a tammy is a flat cap hat, and is short for Tam O'Shanter

Sammy is Dunfermline's mascot, and to be fair to the guy, he's a belter. Who doesn't love a stuffed teddy bear running about in a football kit?

But herein lies the problem. Sammy is his name, Tammy is the cap on his head. So how can he possibly be Sammy the Tammy? Here's a stock image of a man in a wooly hat. Let's assume his name is George. He is George, not George the Wooly Hat.

For clarity I have attached arrows to this image to show Sammy, and Sammy's Tammy.

As you can see, it is not possible for Sammy to be the Tammy, the Tammy is the hat on Sammy's head.

Therefore, as soon as possible, Sammy needs to change his name from "Sammy the Tammy" to "Sammy the bear with the tammy on his head".

It's for the good of the reputation of Scottish football

Unless of course, Sammy is actually the name of the hat, and we have just been believing it to be the name of the bear this whole time.

At which point we have to declare said hat the best mascot in Scotland, knocking the great Kingsley from his perch.

TL;DR Sammy the Tammy is either the greatest long con in the history of Scottish football mascots, or he needs to change his name