I think in k-pop fandom, fans struggle to negotiate the parasocial relationships with idols that we find ourselves in. We’re presented with celebrity personas that are largely constructed and mediated images, & these personas are impossible to know and interact with in reality.

On the other hand, there is a tension between this artifice and the way that idols are marketed as intimate and familiar to the fandom. An example of this is the proliferation of Youtube videos or reality shows that “show” us the “true” reality of the idol’s life.

While these videos can never be a true reality––because the idols are on camera and they know they are—there is slippage between the persona and the “real” person.

Additionally, this is mediated by the idol’s themselves. As Taemin mentions in this video, he wonders how to facilitate and contend with Taemin as an idol and Taemin as a person

I think especially on Twitter—hyper-focused on highlighting “viral” content and constricted to character limits that facilitate only certain kinds of content—fans are not always prepared or ready to critically engage with the tension of this parasocial relationship.

For me, part of the enjoyment of fandom is examining the constructed nature of this relationship. I will never know my idols as I know my friends, but yet I feel a familiarity with them that comforts me, and I am heartbroken when I have experienced the loss of an idol.

I think there will always be this tension between seeing some intimate moments of idols’ lives, seeing their constructed personas, and extrapolating from that in our own minds (and even in fanfiction or other avenues).

And I think if we were able to engage with this tension in healthy ways, to admit to ourselves how we are made to feel these personal connections with personas, and how many times we are projecting our own affection, we could have some more productive conversations.