anyways my tweet about kirishima practicing his signature for when he’s ‘bakugo eijirou’ on his notes, but bakugo has said he never wanted to get married

like an off handed comment that wasn’t even aimed at kirishima, just said generally speaking

but kirishima stops doodling his signature in his notes, makes himself stop

he feels childish for doing it anyways and sero did make fun of him pretty hard when he found them.

always asking to “look at his notes” for something during a squad study session. cause if kirishima to blush and studded about how he didn’t take any notes

to which bakugo would reprimand him telling him that’s why he needs so much extra help and he needs to pay attention in class if he’s ever going to get close to graduating

and kirishima would understand bakugos subtle love language in helping him succeed when he dropped off a copy of his own notes later with a “study these you dumb fuck, I’m not doing this again so pay attention in class next time”

and his heart would clench in his chest with how much he loves him

so even if it was dumb and childish to fantasize about being a bakugo one day, kirishima is just glad he gets to be with him in this capacity

or that’s what he convinces himself for nine years

they’re moving from their shared apartment into their first home. the first place that’s completely theirs

and bakugo is unpacking some boxes that go on their bookshelf

“I don’t understand why you feel like you need to keep all this bullshit” he says filing the books away “what’s even in here?”

he flips through the pages, “hero law and theory. you really think you’re going to need this?”

“bro I might, you never know!” kirishima answered from where he was unwrapping and putting away dishes in the kitchen

Bakugo looked through it still, laughing

“name one time since you graduated that you looked through this to-“ bakugo stops short but kirishima still laughs at the question

“ok so I haven’t yet” he walks around the breakfast bar so the cabinets aren’t blocking his view anymore

“but the second I throw them away we both know I’m going to need it” the smile on his face dies when he sees bakugos expression

bakugos face is pinched in something like confusion.

“what’s up?” kirishima asked, walking closer to get a look

kiris heart sank into his stomach upon seeing the sloppily doodled “bakugo eijirou” repeated four times down the margin of the notebook

kiri felt his face heat up as he snatched the notebook out of bakugo’s hand “uh..”

“I didn’t know you thought about-“ bakugo started

“no, not really! just like a dumb- just a really stupid high school thing it didn’t. I didn’t really- it was dumb.”

bakugo looked at him skeptically

“anyways you’re right,” kirishima stepped back, notebook hugged to his chest, stumbling over a box “I should probably just get rid of it”

kirishima turned from bakugos scrutinizing gaze and moved back into the kitchen, cheeks burning

he threw the notebook into the trash

bakugo didn’t bring up the notebook again but he definitely acted... strange after that

kirishima knew he was probably weirded out, realizing how much of a creep his boyfriend of ten years actually was

days pass like that, things just skirting on the margins of normal as they finish unpacking and painting, and for how weird bakugo is acting kirishima knows he’s acting just as weird

but the thing was that... kirishima hadn’t let his mind wander there since he was a teenager. he hadn’t let himself indulge in those childish fantasies of being katsukis /husband/ in years and years

and now that it was opened up he remembered how much he wanted it

and he wanted to be katsukis husband /bad/

kirishima was going to have to push those thoughts way back down before they started getting in the way

he was looking through the bookshelf, pulling old notebooks that he knew he would never look at and throwing them into a trash bag when bakugo walked up behind him

“I was just fucking with you before, you can keep those”

kirishima laughed but it sounded fake even to him “no, it’s ok dude you were right, I literally haven’t looked at these since high school”

bakugo grabbed one from his hand before he had the chance to get it into the bag

he opened it and started flipping through

kirishima reached for it “give it back” he dropped the bag as bakugo pulled the notebook out of his reach. kirishima kept reaching and bakugo pushed him back with a hand to his chest

“no let me see” he had a smile on his face kirishima couldn’t help but mirror

kirishima pulled on his arm “I’m gonna fucking tackle you” he laughed

“you can try, asshole” bakugo laughed back at him

kirishima tried to kick his legs out from under him but bakugo caught him in a headlock on his way down

“give me the notebook” kiris muffled voice demanded from against bakugo

“I gotta refresh my memory on...” bakugo looked to the cover “english”

“your English is fine you dick” he threw a leg up trying to flip himself on top

but bakugo had him pinned, kirishima let his body go limp in defeat and bakugo straddled him casually, placing the notebook on his chest

embarrassment settled back over kirishima as bakugo flipped through the pages, clearly looking for something.

kirishima threw a hand over his face, trying to hide the red from his cheeks

he heard bakugo stop flipping through pages and didnt look until bakugo pushed his arm off his face

he looked up at bakugo, trying to figure out the thoughtful expression on his face

“I told you it was just a stupid high school thing” he moved his hips side to side “get off you weigh a ton”

“this was third year” bakugo responded

kirishima felt like a child answering to his parents why he’d hidden his vegetables and rates desert

“I know, I don’t know what else you want me to say. please get off” kirishima started to put more effort in pushing at bakugos legs

“it seems like it’s something you thought about a lot, is what I mean stupid”

kiris embarrassment channeled itself to anger “yeah when I was in high school katsuki, get off” he gave one final push and bakugo was on the floor next to him and he looked annoyed

“you’re the one always saying we need to talk about our shit, why the fuck do you not want to talk about this?” he said harshly as kiri sat up to be on his level

“there’s nothing to talk about” kirishima’s chest felt tight and he moved to his feet “it was something I thought about when I was a dumb kid. but I know us and I know we’re not /that kind of couple”

bakugo squinted as kirishima turned to walk away. he moved to his feet to walk after him “fuck do you mean /that kind of couple?”

kirishima turned around, somehow furious “the kind of couple that gets married, obviously katsuki. I know where you stand on it, now can I just be embarrassed by myself or do you have more questions about it?”

bakugo didn’t answer and kirishima walked away

if things were strained after the first notebook they were downright awkward after that

kirishima knew the anger he felt toward bakugo was just his own embarrassment masquerading as something easier to express, but that was easier knowledge to know in his brain than to act on

laying in bed one night, facing a sleeping bakugo, but not touching him, he took in the soft features of his normally sharp face. eyes shut splaying blonde eyelashes across his under eye. his cheek smooshed against the pillow making it seem like the baby fat

that had been present on him when they had first met was still hanging on. he wasn’t sporting whispers of the beginning of crows feet or laugh lines like kirishima had began to notice on himself as he pushed closer to his thirties. his skin only marred by battle scars

kirishima was battling inside himself. trying to suppress the dumb yearning for someone that was already his and failing immeasurably at it. he was so beautiful kirishima felt like his skin would ignite if it didn’t make contact with bakugos

so he reached a hand out letting it fall against the other boys cheek

bakugos face twitched a bit before his eyes fluttered open “whats wrong?”

kirishima shook his head, “nothing, sorry I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

katsukis face was still smooshed slightly from where it laid on the pillow making his sleepy scowl look more adorable than menacing “hmph” he reached toward kirishima, and pulled him closer

they didn’t cuddle every night, sometimes they just fell asleep with an arm or leg thrown over the other, but the past few weeks their already subtle affections had been scarce.

so feeling bakugo pull him to rest against his chest was a very welcome reprieve on what felt like a long trip away from home.

and fuck did kirishima want to marry the man that made him feel that way

kirishima woke up to an empty bed, which wasn’t.... abnormal, but definitely unexpected as they both had the day off.

he shot a text to bakugo and got to getting the dogs and himself some breakfast

coming out of the shower one breakfast and run later, he checked his phone to see his message answered

k: had errands to run. be home around lunch.

the vague message sat very uncomfortably with kirishima he stared at it for a few minutes before another text came through

k: I’ll bring food home.

kirishima felt anxiety in his chest, he couldn’t pinpoint exactly what was wrong with the way bakugo was acting but he was simply acting /wrong/

he replied to the message and sat on the couch, searching through streaming sites until he found something that looked interesting

he hadnt realized he had fallen asleep until a hand was placed on his shoulder, shaking him lightly

“ei, wake up” he heard bakugos voice from somewhere between conscious and unconscious “your foods getting cold”

kiri sat up and sleepily accepted the take out his boyfriend handed him before sitting on the couch next to him, opening his own

“how were your errands?” kirishima asked, rubbing the sleep from his eyes

he wasn’t too tired not to notice how bakugos movements stuttered beside him “shitty I wanted to sleep in”

kiri twisted the top off the water bakugo had brought him and set on the coffee table “yeah you were out of here pretty early” he took a drink “whatd you have to do today?”

bakugo shoved a piece of beef in his mouth and spoke manerlessly around it “just random bullshit”

it hit kirishima like a howitzer to the chest.

bakugo was a private person, just not to eijirou. if there was one thing they had going for them more than anything else in their relationship, it was trust.

so why did kirishima have the distinct feeling his partner was actively keeping something from him. something that obviously made him uncomfortable

he’d felt the wedge between them before but now it felt like they were miles apart

kirishima forced himself to finish his lunch through the uneasiness in his stomach

on Thursday’s kirishima got home two hours before bakugo, that was normally his night to make dinner.

this particular Thursday evening kirishima sat at their kitchen table an hour after his normal arrival time, and no word from bakugo

only a meal going cold in front of him

it wasn’t like kirishima had made some super elaborate meal or anything, but he did always put effort into thursday night dinner. he and bakugo had been working on his skills in the kitchen over the past decade spent together and Thursday was the day he liked to show himself

and bakugo just how good he was getting

and bakugo would normally praise (or critique) him and they would stay up late together just hanging out since the next day was their late shift

kirishima picked up his phone to call bakugo again

as it rang he turned it to speaker to switch to his browser, refreshing for updates on hero news

with no news, or answer from ground zero or bakugo katsuki, kirishima stood from the table, leaving the food behind

he started to do a half ass job at cleaning the kitchen

he was worried out of his head for bakugo, in the entirety of the time they had been pros the only time bakugo hasn’t called when he was late were the handful of times he couldn’t because he was unconscious in some

hospital bed somewhere. but if that were the case there would be news about a big fight on the tv /and a call from their agency telling kirishima what had happened

since neither of those were present kirishima was /worried

worried for bakugos safety, but also, in a part of kirishimas mind that he didn’t much care to travel to, he was worried about bakugos honesty.

which was a brand new feeling for kirishima as they had never questioned each other’s word. they’d never had a reason to

he was taking out his worry on scrubbing a pan, trying to remind himself that he still didn’t have a reason to question bakugo when he heard the front door open

he immediately pulled a towel from the oven door, drying his hands as he made his way quickly to the front door.

bakugo was leaned over taking his shoe off when kirishima collided into him, nearly knocking him off his feet

“fuck,” bakugo stuttered, trying to right himself and embracing kirishima back

“I was so worried about you” kirishima squeezed and he felt bakugo flinch so he loosened his arms slightly, still keeping them around his partner he pulled back so he could look bakugo in the face

“where were you? why didn’t you call, bro, I was losing my mind”

bakugo grimaced a bit, which hit kirishima strangely “got a weird hybrid villain at the end of my shift. I had to get some stupid shots after.”

“shots?” kirishima questioned, feeling bakugos arms settle around his waste

“yeah, shots, the fucker bit me”

“bit you?” kiri asked incredulously

“yeah, on my fucking neck.”

“what?” kirishima pulled bakugos scarf from around his neck, taking a step out of bakugos hold on him. he pulled bakugos shirt and jacket to the side and saw a taped patch of gauze “they bit through your hero costume?”

“yeah” bakugo replied, clearly annoyed. “asshole had sharp teeth”

“why didn’t you call me, I was losing my mind here.”

bakugo stepped around him heading towards the kitchen.

“lost track of time, it was a shit show.”

kirishima didn’t follow him, he stood alone in the foyer, staring at the mess of shoes. bakugo katsuki was a perfectionist, he never lost track of time

he swallowed and spoke up, hanging the scarf on the coat rack and following bakugo into the kitchen “must have been intense for you to lose track of time”

bakugo turned to look at him, broccoli half way between the abandoned plate on the table and his mouth “yeah... it was”

he was looking at him challengingly, like he could tell kirishima was suspicious, he dropped the vegetable back onto the plate “fucks your deal”

kirishima stepped back, affronted “my deal? I was fucking worried about you, dude. you couldn’t have called me on the way home? almost three hours after you were supposed to be home? you didn’t think I’d be here worried about you?”

bakugo looked to the side of kirishima, seemingly unable to look at his face. “I should have called.”

the emotional whiplash made kirishima so frustrated he felt tears in his eyes.

bakugo, finally lifting his gaze to kirishimas noticed them too and crossed the kitchen, pulling him in “hey, I should have called”

that was an apology, from bakugo anyways. kiri let his forehead fall to bakugos uninjured shoulder. a few tears escaped his eyes, but regardless of how much he wanted too he didn’t let himself fully cry.

“hey,” bakugo bumped his shoulder, causing kirishima to raise his head “I should have called”

kirishima nodded and bakugo kissed him. it was more intense than kirishima had been expecting.

bakugo was pouring something into it, kirishima just couldn’t tell what.

he was particularly afraid it was guilt

they had eaten their reheated dinner and bakugo insisted on cleaning the kitchen himself, telling kirishima to relax on the couch until he joined him

bakugo was particularly handsy, pulling kirishima to lay on his chest as they watched dumb tv, he let one hand roam up and down kirishimas broad back and kirishima wanted to relax into it

wanted to find it comforting

but it just wasn’t

bakugo had been nodding off so they decided to move to bed

already in his pajamas, kirishima got straight under the covers, watching bakugo tiredly as he moved around the room

he was facing their dresser as he pulled his shirt off

there was one set of scratches down his shoulder blade and kirishimas blood turned to ice in his veins

kiri took a breath. bakugo faced a hybrid villain earlier, of course he would have scratches on him

of course he would

the placement made sense- if they had been grabbing on to him to bite his neck

or...

kirishimas stomach turned at the thought of bakugo touching anyone else, or letting anyone else see him the way only kirishima was allowed

it was just a villain, kirishima told himself. just a hybrid villain that ripped through his hero costume.

and bit through it.

on bakugos shoulder.

“fuck are you looking at?” bakugos voice pulled his attention to where he was crawling into bed beside him

“sorry, just tired.” he lied “spaced out a little bit”

bakugo seemed to take that at face value. he settled under the sheets and scrolled through his phone.

kirishima tried to act normal, but the usual comfortable silence they fell into during their nightly routine felt suffocating to him

he couldn’t get comfortable in his own bed, he didn’t know how to sit, there wasn’t a way to hold his phone that wasn’t awkward

he felt like bakugo could hear his breathing, causing him to focus on each breath- in and out- and even they felt-

“ei.”

kirishima breathes in sharply through his nose “huh?”

“why-“ bakugo cut himself off. he was back to not being able to look kirishima in the face. he huffed out in annoyance.

there was a strange look on his face, he was holding something back and kirishima was bursting with the words just behind his lips

‘I’ll tell you if you tell me’

he wanted to beg, but he was afraid of what his reward would be

“why... what?” kirishima edged on

bakugos eyes met his again and there was something in his eyes and kiri thought back to the kiss they had shared when bakugo first got home

thought to how he prayed the tense emotion flowing off of his boyfriend wasn’t guilt

but the look in his eyes now, serious and too open for bakugo, assures him that it had been

“you know- you do know I love you?”

whatever effect bakugo thought those words would have on kirishima wasn’t didnt land.

it clenched his gut and heart at the same time

what the fuck did that mean?

“yeah, I- I do I love you to”

sleep didnt come easy to either of them that night. kirishima noticed bakugo scrolling through his phone between tossing and turning.

even when sleep did come to kirishima it was anything but restful

red riot and ground zero sat next to each other on the back of an opened ambulance

neither of them spoke as a medic tended to their relatively minor wounds

the fight... hadn’t gone well

and it was their fault

the very first way kirishima recognized bakugo as a soulmate, before he even realized it had any romantic connotation at all, was during battle

the way they could read each other seamlessly as if they had been fighting next to each other for years though they had known each other mere months

a certain intuition when it came to each other’s movements that kirishima had /thought carried over off the battlefield

feeling disconnected in their own home somehow didnt compare to the way his heart shattered at misreading bakugo in the field

being in each other’s way instead of symbiotically enhancing their performances

for the first time since they were kids

they couldn’t even look at each other

if shinsou hadn’t just so happened to be in the area they would have lost the villains for certain

“ok you guys are all set if you wanted to answer the reporters now” the medic informed them cheerily, either not picking up on or choosing to ignore the sour mood

kirishima looked over to bakugo awkwardly “you wanna do paperwork or-“

“I’ll talk to them” bakugo surprised kirishima “I’m gonna make it short. I’ll meet you at home.”

he stood, shifting the vehicle and kirishima watched his back as he walked away

their agency was a short distance away, after sneaking away from the press he was there within a few minutes

he walked to the elevator and bakugos assistant rushed to meet him on it

“hey riot! I thought gz was gonna be doing the paper work so I got it all prepared for him,” she shuffled a few folders around, balancing them to hand one over

“yeah, I guess he was is a talkative mood today” he feigned humor

“oh, should we be scared then” the girl joked, but it twisted kirishimas gut

he’d been asking himself that question a lot lately

Kirishima was almost through with the paperwork when his desk phone began to ring

“red riot”

“hey, red, got a sec? it’s nakamura.”

fighting to keep his anxiety internal he answered their publicist “yeah what’s up.”

“hey, we’re just running a little bit of damage control” poor guy sounded stressed already

kiri let his head fall to his desk, “yeah I’m sure.”

“so you already saw?”

kiris eyes popped open, “saw?”

“ground zeros, post fight interview?”

kirishima popped up from the desk, anxiety making him even more nauseous that he had already been

“n-no, let me-“

“hold on I’ve got the link right here.”

a message popped up on kirishimas computer screen and he clicked the attached link

bakugos face popped up, with a microphone shoved in it and one look at his expression told kirishima he should have fought a little harder to handle the press today