When I was a child I didn& #39;t understand what neurodivergent was, but I understood that I learned and processed things differently to other kids. I went to bed every night wishing that I could wake up and be "normal".

The last time I felt this way was when I was in the first year of honours. I had to present my draft paper & answer questions from some intimidating lecturers. I stumbled over words, took pauses so I could remember certain words, but was constantly interrupted.

They interpreted my speaking style as unprepared. They told me that honours isn& #39;t for everyone. Maybe I should rethink what I& #39;m doing.
I sat back down and watched my peers effortlessly present and answer their questions.
I felt humiliated.

I now have strategies in place so that I can perform academia the way that is expected. But it means longer hours in preparation than most. There is no such thing as "winging it", giving something a skim read, preparing "on the plane" - it is actually impossible.

I felt that same feeling this morning.

I guess the point of this thread is simply a reminder to myself/whoever needs to hear: what you are feeling is structural. The world, esp education, is created for neurotypical people.
You are doing the best you can.
You are awesome.