Read on Twitter
We don’t talk about it enough but we should and it took a strong woman like Megan for me to decide to as well.
A thread:
On April 25, 2020
@GodlessEngineer and I lost a pregnancy.
1/ https://twitter.com/digi_hammurabi/status/1313820462703693824
A thread:
On April 25, 2020
@GodlessEngineer and I lost a pregnancy.
1/ https://twitter.com/digi_hammurabi/status/1313820462703693824
A few years ago, my doctor told me that a condition I’ve had since birth would most likely prevent me from ever being able to conceive. It was a hard truth, but one I clearly had to live with.
John and I accepted this reality and went on about our lives. 2/
John and I accepted this reality and went on about our lives. 2/
In February of this year, I got pregnant. We didn’t know I was pregnant until I was miscarrying. It had never occurred to either of us to check.
John took me to the hospital. I was there for 9 hours and because of COVID, I was there alone. 3/
John took me to the hospital. I was there for 9 hours and because of COVID, I was there alone. 3/
It was scary and painful and there were more people up in my “business” that day than I care to admit. It was, no question, the worst day of my life. In the thread that Megan shared, my miscarriage was the kind that took two weeks. 4/
Though I had a few very close friends, John, and my mom, I felt very isolated. Like no one knew what I was going through. Like no one understood. I was wrong, of course, but hormones are a bitch and that’s how it felt to me. It’s shock and pain, disbelief and more pain. 5/
John and I have always wanted a baby. And I hold on to the idea that we made a “thing” together. I think the most important thing that people who have lost pregnancies and babies is to be there for others when it happens to them. 6/
It feels like you’re on an island in the moment, but you’re not. It’s tragically common. It feels like you won’t make it through the next minute. But you will... and you’ll make it through the following hours...and the following days, months, and years. 7/
It’s a pain that, in my experience so far (nearly 6 months out) does not go away, but it fades enough to function. Sometimes are harder than others. For me that’s started again about this upcoming month. John and I should be welcoming a baby into our family and we’re not. 8/
But I’m lucky to have some close friends who have been open about their experiences and because of them, I know I have someone to talk to who knows what I’m going through, though at the same time I hate that they’ve been through similar loss. 9/
Please try to keep in mind that judging people for how they cope with this kind of loss is harmful to people who are already dealing with an extremely difficult loss. You may not understand, but you don’t have to. 10/
My advice: Give people who are going through this the space to grieve and love and support to help them through the day.
It takes time, but it does get better.
End.
It takes time, but it does get better.
End.
