Read on Twitter
I& #39;m glad that I am someone that always puts in the work to help others and I don& #39;t ever want to stop trying my hardest but I do wish I would stop burning myself out doing it
It& #39;s really dumb and unhealthy and it does often feel like I& #39;m indirectly punishing myself more often than I care to admit. I& #39;ve also stifled a lot of my own needs for the sake of others to the point that I don& #39;t actually know how to ask for help until I desperately need it
"Asking for help" to me is more like post-breakdown conversations for comfort and talking about what went wrong when in reality it should be actually receiving advice, comfort, support, sharing workloads, etc. before issues start to pile up
I don& #39;t know if it& #39;s that most people don& #39;t know how to help me specifically or if it& #39;s just that helping others is such a nebulous idea that people really don& #39;t know where to begin even if they are willing to put in the work
Some things that work for me I guess?
-literally just checking in
-making any kind of plans together, even small ones
-reassurance that you& #39;re not alone, you matter, etc.
-validation. seriously. also learn to validate people correctly.
-offering space to talk
-literally just checking in
-making any kind of plans together, even small ones
-reassurance that you& #39;re not alone, you matter, etc.
-validation. seriously. also learn to validate people correctly.
-offering space to talk
It will probably vary from person to person? I& #39;d say consider people& #39;s love languages and base your response off of that because people often receive comfort the same way they receive love. For me I& #39;m really into receiving quality time and words of affirmation so this reeks of it
Also be mindful of people& #39;s history? I don& #39;t like to talk about this a lot but I& #39;ve been extensively gaslighted for a large portion of my life and I often feel very unsure whether people are hurting me or that I deserve better so validation can really mean the world to me. ymmv
I think it& #39;s @pickledmint that has a really good thread on validation but I can only find this 
https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="đ©" title="Mattes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Mattes Gesicht"> https://twitter.com/pickledmint/status/1094713926716030976?s=20">https://twitter.com/pickledmi...
