Ok I’m back. Episode 3. Let’s see if it gets better. High hopes... #EmilyInParis https://twitter.com/iroughol/status/1313513934134145026

Mythbuster: being single in Paris doesn’t mean more sex than anywhere else. French people tend to be more monogamous, we don’t date multiple people until you have “the talk” about being exclusive. Unless it’s clearly a one night stand, if you’re making out, you’re together.

There isn’t even a word in French for dating, so we just use the English. We had to when Americans bestowed the poisonous gift of Tinder. Before that, no such thing as dating, really.

01:37 A guy pulls his dick out to pee in a urinal in plain sight on the Quai de Seine. Had to look this up. It’s real! Installed in summer 2018 and Parisians were up in arms bc it’s disgusting. See, sometimes people in power do gross shit but that doesn’t mean we’re behind them.

02:14 She judges women smoking outside their cycling studio as she bites into a post-run croissant.

“The plumbing is 500 years old, literally.” 16th century Paris was famous for book publishing, the Louvre and massacring Protestants. Indoor plumbing? Not for another 400 years. Many Parisian buildings had communal outhouses into WW2.

The building concierge is rude. Yes. No argument there.

But what kind of plumbing problem stops water to the shower and not the sink without your walls being completely soaked?

You cannot come to France wearing a beret. Do I come to your country in a cowboy hat? (Ok I did once, but I was much younger than her.)

She’s offended her French culture teacher wants to charge to keep teaching her French culture outside class. I mean, that’s proper American hustle, you should respect.

I’m not even at 5 mn, I keep pausing to tweet and my dinner is cold. FFS.

Emailing “corporate commandments” to all staff does not pass for company culture anywhere in the world.

I’m pretty sure you can’t actually streak in Paris, even if you’re filming a commercial, in broad daylight in the middle of a busy avenue.

I’m not going to discuss French feminism at tweet length, but yes even to French people, a gratuitously naked woman in a sexist commercial does usually raise objections. We don’t need Americans to explain the male gaze.

Though, granted, France is super sexist in ways that piss me off to no end but this isn’t the time and place. I generally don’t recommend changing the brief of an advertising campaign *at the shoot*.

You can’t go out to lunch at 11 am even if “c’est la vie.” Restaurants are closed.

There is no such thing as “breakfast wine”. There was once, you put it in babies’ bottles to keep them warm. It’s frowned upon now.

At least they hired French extras. I hate it when you overhear supposed French conversation and it’s gibberish.

Ok the French chef is really hot. Just watch the show on mute.

“Let them eat cake” is not the actual expression. It’s “let them eat brioche” which makes sense coz it’s sweet bread and they’d run out of regular bread. Poor Marie Antoinette never actually said it. She still lost her brioche.

“Is it sexy or sexist” to buy lingerie for a colleague? Definitely sexist. We have laws against that shit too.

And we are done for today. I can’t do another episode. My brain...