so i signed up for telepath last night...

leaving aside how weird and borderline creepy it is to get a message like this before ever engaging on the site, i guess we’re gonna have to go through the “what makes a name ‘real’?” dance.

is my "real" name the one my banks call me? the one on my drivers license? the one the social security administration calls me? the one @iamb calls me? the one my family calls me? the one i'm known online/professionally as?

which of those counts as more "real" than the others?

if i affirm that my name is my "real" name, should my affirmation of the name that is real *to me* not be enough?

why would/should a person i've never met at a company be able to negate that?

why should anyone be able to tell me what my "real" name is?

leaving the issues of what makes a name "real" aside...

a "real" names policy excludes people who have to use pseudonyms for safety reasons. a "real" names policy doesn't pass the "is your platform safe for someone who is trying to hide from a stalker/abusive partner" test.

"real" names policies make the most privileged in our society feel comfortable with the discourse, while excluding those who have less safety and less privilege.

this is well researched and well documented.

must we go through the real name dance with every new social network?