Even 10 minutes is time. We can do something with it. True story:

I was up today at 2:00 am working on some overdue report when I heard cat noises outside. There are always cats making love out here: when you stay up most days, you get used to it. I dismissed the noise.
2 hours later, noise grew in intensity. At 5:00 am, I heard mumbling voices. Among them was that of my caretaker's, so I decided to tiptoe outside. I carried some club I have in my house. Coz if it was a thief that had f***d my routine, they had to pay. Game is the game.
So anyway, before I get to the ground floor, I peep from the balcony to see what was a screaming, wriggling woman surrounded by other tenants. I ask what's up,they say she made her way inside the gate. And looks possessed. They tell me to go. The woman is now growling & grimacing
I stop for a second. 1st, it was not a thief. So they didn't need my help. 2nd, the devil has left me alone lately tbh. I got 2 new gigs last week, got laid on the 1st date last month. Why the fuck would I go to where the devil was chilling to call him out? Mutual respect.
I said no. I was not going down there. One hyper neighbor goes gets a Bible. Next thing you know, they're holding the woman down & smacking her head with the Bible in the name of exorcism. These assholes don't even go to church. The caretaker is literally a Khat connoisseur.
Prayer fails. They call the cops at 6:00 am. Police quickly establish that woman is deaf. That's why her sounds were grotesque. I'm thinking, "poor brother devil, man can't have peace. He even picked someone that couldn't talk coz he was minding his own".
Police go with deaf woman. I just learned, in fact, deaf woman wasn't possessed. 1 neighbor, whose wife went for the Bible, has been pounding the deaf woman's yam. She got pregnant, he promised to send money but has only been sending air. Poor devil was just minding his business!
You can follow @XivTroy.
Tip: mention @twtextapp on a Twitter thread with the keyword “unroll” to get a link to it.

Latest Threads Unrolled: