Possibly long thread - will tweet in English and Tamizh. Will add as I gather my thoughts on this issue! This is a general series of thoughts on Tambrahms (individuals) and the community!

Trigger: the cross caste marriage that happened in KaLLakurichi! Nothing wrong in it, by itself. Except for the fact that this guy hasn't divorced his wife before remarrying - there is nothing illegal. As for the "no divorce" illegality - it is the norm in TN politics. /1

Did he break the trust of the father? I don't know! maybe? Did he groom the girl? He went ahead and married her. If he exploits her later in life - it is a crime in and of itself. Right now, the answer for the "grooming" charges is "no". The onus remains on the accusers to prove.

This case came out *only* because this guy is a ruling party MLA and the entire media is friendly with DMK (which sits in opposition). This is politics. Brahmins are just puppets in this game.

Despite the merits of this case - the Brahmin girl trophy mentality runs deep in TN.

Anyone denying this is either uninformed or hypocritical.

What this mentality means is that there are many many cases of just exploitation and grooming that go unreported. This is like medieval slave markets. When society thinks it is okay, there is no need to report it as news.

What would have happened in not so modern times? The society probably acted as a protection ring! They protected girls generally from such "grooming" and respected every community's wish to keep up their cultural uniqueness.

Modernity declared this "unnecessary".

Result - it is basically matsya nyaya when it comes to finding girls. Don't let anyone fool you otherwise. If the boy is strong enough or rich enough [sometimes both] to attract the girl, he walks with his trophy.

Again. Nothing new. World works this way. Winner takes wife home

But, in a complex society like India - this threw a spanner in the works. Women were more educated, and saw what life can offer [a stronger / sexier / richer partner] than what the "elders" thought was appropriate. Nothing wrong in that either. However, the boys were in a fix!

Since the 1990s, Brahmin boys - unless they had a clear trajectory to get into IT and settle abroad, found it difficult to find suitable girls. Now, I hear such expectations are found across the board [a story for a different time].

Point is - B boys [talking abt Tambrahms] ++

++ were asked to focus on their studies, get into an engineering college [the creme wanted IITs] or medicine, and then go abroad. Physical activity? What use is that to get into IITs? Politics - that is gutter, don't go there. Police / UPSC - vendaam!

Getting into a college, getting a decent education and then earning money became the be-all and end-all of brahmin existence. மைலாப்பூரல வீடு, புள்ளைக்கு ps ஸ்கூல் சீட்டு, h1b விசா, கிரீன் கார்டு - sounded like a good plan. In fact, for about 20 years [1990 - 2010], it worked.

I was in UK between 2009-2012, in one of the apex institutions, and my boss thought that all south Indians were vegetarians. Go figure.

And not just boys - the girls achieved things that were no less.

But, this wasn't the whole picture. We weren't mindful of the whole picture.

We were so focused on the success stories that we couldn't care about the not so blessed within the community. A poor brahmin family that couldn't afford IIT coaching [or even a quality private school] fell back!

Talk about the K curve -- we had it, but didn't care to see it.

Worse was the elitism that cropped up within the clans. If your son didn't clear IIT, oh! well then you should have done something wrong. If you couldn't do engineering [at least], then your son is a dud.

And வைதீகம்? அஞ்சுக்கும் பத்துக்கும் வாத்தியார் கிட்ட பேரம்!

in the rush of money and success, we forgot the fothers of our clan! the less fortunate. While we had first world earning capacities, we held on to socialist spending modes. Especially when it came to religion. என்னது? 500 ரூபாயா? We made the shastrigaL beg for every penny!

And our parents were almost proud of that achievement. They saved us 200 Rs by bargaining with the shastrigaL. We didn't know enough to say "no. don't do this. They too have a life". Unknown, and uncared for - those in charge of our heritage were pushed deeper into poverty.

In parallel, another sledgehammer was being cocked up at 100ft .. and it would come crashing. I doubt 1980s were a time of such intense economic disparity between brahmin families - which is to say, all of them were subject to the same level of brainwashing about small families.

Yes - large families were a problem [families of 10 - 11 surviving kids], but there was an advantage. It allowed parents to hedge the life bet. My paatti was able to say "ஒரு பையன் armyக்கு, ஒரு பையன் RSSக்கு" and still had five left to take care of her .. With three kids ..

this benefit fell. But still - there was likely a boy and a girl in the family. There was a constant male / female presence that would look out for their sibling in case of tricky situations. You had at least another person who was interested in your long term welfare.

Maybe intrusive [looking back], but better the inconvenience of a safety net, than the risk of not having it.

TamBs went one step further and bought into the myth of one child families. That sledgehammer flattened us! No other way to put it.

It was the perfect storm!

Clan disunity --> "me myself and my progeny"
Modern education --> "I am spiritual, not religious" nonsense.
K curve growth --> unfortunate clans / families didn't have any support structure.

And added to this, the ever-expanding footprint of Abrahamic Secular state in Temples ..

People like this gurukkaL in unnamed villages were left with zero social security. Those who question him "why did you let this man into your house", have no clue. Could he have said "no", knowing that this man is Dalit? You would have strung him alive! What about his security?

Who was left to ensure the safety and dignity of this gurukkaL, if he were to be cautious about his daughter? பூணூல் அறுத்தப்போ யார் போய் நிக்கறீங்க? நமக்கு எதுக்கு வம்பு ன்னு தானே போறீங்க?

வாத்தியாரை குடுமியை பிடிச்சு இழுத்தப்ப யாரு சப்போர்ட் செய்தீங்க?

Anyway - getting back on track: of the boys that were there in the Tambram community - how many of the affluent ones were willing to step down and marry a relatively uneducated girl from KaLLakurichi? PR applicationல பாயிண்ட் போயிடுமே! Can she adjust to life in the US?

not just the boys: what about the relatively undereducated Tambram girls from these tier two towns and villages? Would they have settled down happily with a boy who made a decent living by doing purohitam? Personal experience: அவன் குடுமி வச்சிருக்கான், வேண்டாம்.

எல்லா பொண்ணுங்களுக்கும் hrithik roshan மாதிரி பையன் வேணும் .. எல்லா பசங்களுக்கும் காஜல் அக்கரவால் மாதிரி பொண்ணு வேணும். எவனுக்கும் எவளுக்கும் புரோகிதம் வேண்டாம்!

who will go woo that girl in the village? Honestly?

A brahmin girl is first and foremost, a girl .. She will like a guy who displays signs of strength and authority. She has seen her dad for her entire life being disrespected for his trade. Why do you think she will even like a guy doing that? Masochism much?

A purohitar in TN today is not respected by his superiors, not respected by his society, not respected by his peers outside the field, not respected by his own relatives who are in IT! He is not respected by his yajamana who thinks the purohita is out there to fleece him.

Why would a daughter who has grown 19yrs seeing this shit - would want to stick to this life style? Why blame the girl when she walks out?

Grooming? That guy probably was her escape hatch. She saw the opportunity and she took it. Don't judge when you can't wear those shoes.

Veering back to the thread:

here we have a community that despises its own. Here is a community that has forgotten its own community ties. Don't let anyone else tell you otherwise. A brahmin community doesn't exist. It is just a collection of individuals. They live for their own

There is no community feeling. There is no attempt to cultivate a community. High pressure White-collar jobs dealing with information on a day to day basis, has become the only refuge of the Brahmin. Not because they thrive here - but because we are useless in anything else.

Harsh? See the below 50 Cardiovascular Disease / hypertensive / Obesity / Diabetes prevalence in Tambrahms.

Our boys / men are some of the least fit, because from very early on - we are taught that physical strength isn't necessary. We can't stand up in a streetfight.

Even if this girl [back to Kallakurichi] had a brother, would he have been able to stand up to the MLA? Forget for a moment that the MLA is an MLA, and just assume that is a run of the mill guy - would a brahmin boy have stood up to him in a one-to-one fisticuff? Who is to blame?

Arjuna says about danda neeti: the society is kept in order because of the fear of the danda [செங்கோல்]. In the absence of danda, it is the capacity for violence that keeps the society in order [you may not like the order, but order it is]. Where is TB capacity for violence?

Don't mistake a capacity for violence with routine Friday afternoon violence. Capacity for violence runs much deeper.

A mindset, it is a combination of a will to destroy and the means to destroy the one who you think has wronged you.

Needless to say, it includes muscle power.

Who is your muscle, Tambrahms? If you are looking to outsource that, you will be crying like a napumsak all the time.

Why are you queasy to let your sons punch a eve teaser in the face? Why not send him to a gym? May be he won't be in IIT, but he will live a whole life.

Any monkey can code today. Can the monkey learn to respect 1000s of years of heritage? Why are your sons and daughters becoming monkeys in Western institutions? Isn't something amiss when the basic clan affinity is missing from them? What use is their education really?

Your sons and daughters have no affinity to this land .. they have no respect for its deep culture. They don't care about its heritage except to flaunt it fashionably. "Oh! Pranayama .. my grandfather used to do that - but he was such a Brahminical patriarch" .. W.T.F?

A bunch devoid of any roots, any pride in their place in the world .. and someone who can't stand a differing opinion from above without folding like a pack of fucking cards.

And we wonder why the trophy wife syndrome afflicts us!

Am I harsh? Yes. Am I harsh enough? Hell no!

Until you, as a community, find your roots and nourish those roots, you are never going to become a predator.

வாழ்ந்தாலும் சாயந்தாலும் அரசமரமாக நிமிர்ந்து நிக்கணும். சும்மா காலத்துக்கு தக்கப்படி ன்னு முதுகெலும்பு இல்லாம புழு போல நெளியக் கூடாது!

Is there a solution?

Ask your sons to join police. Ask them to join criminal law. Ask them to join politics.

உன் புள்ள ஏட்டுன்னா உன் பொண்ணை எவனாவது தொடுவானா? உன் பூணூலை தான் அறுப்பானா? உன் புள்ளை ஏன் MLA ஆகலை?

எல்லாத்தையும் விடு. உன் புள்ளை பொண்ணுக்கு கம்பு சுத்த தெரியுமா?

இது எதையும் செய்யலையா? பொண்ணு குடுத்து பொண்ணை எடு.

சும்மா கூழுக்கும் ஆசை மீசைக்கும் ஆசை ன்னு பண்ணக்கூடாது.

பலம் இருந்தால் தான் மரியாதை இருக்கும். பலத்தைத் தேடு

End point, folks .. no one respects a community that can't respect itself.

You want to change the way the world looks at you? Change the way you look at yourself.

Playing by the rules of modernity doesn't exempt you from this powerplay. It makes you vulnerable.

Look at the case against CISCO engineers by Equality labs in California. Do you really think those guys would have discriminated in the work place? If you think so, you are next in line. If you don't, you are next in line.

Get your act together. /FIN.