So here's the pitch. It's a time of global pandemic. The leader of the free world is up for re-election in 27 days. He's had a rocky few years. He's secretly in debt to Russian oligarchs in his hotel biz. A biz which is sinking because... u guessed it... global pandemic. 1/ https://twitter.com/CNNPolitics/status/1313509849393758208

The Russians bailed him out of debt... for now. Also helped him get elected. He tries to do them favors in office but he keeps getting busted. Meanwhile, hundreds of thousands are dying in the pandemic. Economy cratering. His hotels sinking further. Along w/ his popularity. 2/

His debts increasing. Debts coming due. As long as he stays in office, he is protected. No one can prosecute a sitting POTUS. At least as long as his AG stays loyal. And the AG has no choice, he's already committed crimes too. So it's a mutual assured destruction friendship. 3/

Plus the AG & POTUS share a mutual connection w/ a convicted billionaire pedophile which kinda cements everything. As log as POTUS gets re-elected, they are fine. Tax returns stay buried. But remember, economy is tanking because pandemic. 4/

On AG's advice (&other corrupt advisors), POTUS argues to frightened nation that quarantines r for wimps. People need to get back to work. Yeah, some will die, mostly old, fat, diabetics, blah blah, can't live in fear, blah blah. To promote back to work campaign... 5/

...They belittle efforts to avoid the disease that are inconvenient. Encourage folks to work even though more are dying & sick. Miracle cure coming soon they promise. Till then, they resolve to behave as if there is no disease. But somehow... 6/

POTUS contracts the disease. He is told quietly by Navy Doctor. POTUS asks Navy Doctor if anyone else knows that he has the disease. No, says sweaty Doc. "Don't tell anyone" POTUS tells the Navy Doc. "But.." says Navy Doc.
POTUS grabs Navy Doc by lapels. 7/

"Y'know who had this gig last, Doc?" asks POTUS. "A boozer loser on his way out. I saved his ass cause he played ball. Now he's running 4 Congress unopposed in Texas. Gonna be the next Newt Gingrich. You wanna be Newt Gingrich? Or some loser Navy Doc w/ a fucking conscience?" 8/

"Newt makes 10K a nite on tour. On his third wife. What do you make?" Navy Doc relents. POTUS slams the door. He debates his opposition in 2 days. He resolves to spew as much spittle as he can at the old man who aims to take him down. 9/

Meantime, POTUS spews spittle on all the people who prepare him for debate. Hot consultant. Repulsive speechwriter. Obese ex-governor. His lawyer. Also, the people who bring cherry cokes & fries w/ cheese. His protective detail. Donors. & they all start getting sick. 10/

He arrives at debate. He feels hot, feverish. Eyes red. Repulsive speechwriter slips him some snort. He tears into the debate. Spits all over everyone. Maybe too much. Flies home spits on all his friends. Feels great thanks to snort. Kinda forgets about the test.. 11/

Wakes new morning to bad polls and struggles to breathe. Fuck it. Goes to another fundraiser. Infects more people... Hot Consultant news breaks. She's sick. Good. Now it will look like she started it all cause everyone hugs her. Just gotta hold on a little longer... 12/

New morning. Fox & Friends play in bg as he wakes in a panic. Burning up. Struggling to breathe. Calls a meeting. Blows spittle on more of his team, including AG and key senators. They are all worried about him. Give him test. 13/

Fuck. He thinks. I'm fat. I'm old. Turns to staff, blowing more spittle. "Get me to the fucking hospital. Pump me up with some cutting edge shit. The shit that I keep reading about! Save me! Get this fucking Navy loser Doc away from me. I need the best people!" 14/

Makes a fat production out of trip to POTUS suite at hospital. Helicopter, cameras. Great PR! They pump him up w/ cutting edge meds. Feels better but low energy. He needs his snort. No one is gonna give him the snort at this fancy fucking hospital. 15/

Meanwhile everyone's getting really sick back at the WH. POTUS sleeps like a baby watching Fox, pumped with cutting edge meds, loyal fans wringing hands out the window. His phone rings. 16/

Fuck. Russians on the line. Fuck, fuck. He can't talk to them here. Not in this hospital suite. People all around him all the time. Not his people. Real people. With integrity. He needs his snort. Calls Navy Doc. "I need to get back to WH!" 17/

POTUS gets back to WH. His feverish repulsive speechwriter stages a spectacular arrival at magic hour. POTUS does his best to do macho man poses on WH balcony. Feels like Mussolini, (before hanging). Turns inside. Feverish repulsive speechwriter hands him snort and collapses. 18/

Gets in WH & discovers place is empty. Hot Consultant (sick). Speechwriter (sick). Surgically enhanced but less hot than consultant daughter (sick) & soulless husband, (sick). PR Team (sick). Polls worse. Staff in hazmat suits. Toots snort. Turns on TV. (TO BE CONTINUED)