Oh no it's happening... With the Hades game giving us that yummy patrochilles content, the inevitable return of "The Song of Achilles" fandom is happening... and I just know purity police will flock to it.
So here's a fun thread for antis so they don't come to the Greek

Mythology fandom unprepared because you will have to become a pro-shipper or yanno, stay a hypocrite:

Tw for Incest, pedophilia, rape, zoophilia, teratophilia, "bury your gays" (??? LMFAO), spoilers in case you haven't been exposed to Greek mythology fucking ever, etc

"The Song of Achilles" (tsoa) is a retelling of bits of the Homer's most famous epics, The Illiad and The Odyssey, with a main patrochilles focus, it's a fun read but also inaccurate, and it has a lot of tropes that usually attract antis-

like for example, disdainfuly and conveniently twisting the story of female characters in Achilles' life to erasehisbisexualtendenciesthat wouldinterferewiththepuresoftUwUboysloveship but anyway-- let's go to the juicy bits

Achilles and Patroclus def did way more than just jacking each other off. Depending on who you read, they had orgies together, and shared female slaves. And Achilles' wife.

Also Achilles and Patroclus were indeed soulmates and acted like a married couple. Depending on who you read, Patroclus took the role of "wife" (or what constituted wife duties by society at the time) in their household.
But also they were polyamorous: Achilles fell in love with

one of his slaves, and she's the reason of his tantrum ending in him leaving in the middle of the war.
He also has a princess wife and a son- it's actually talked about in tsoa, briefly, but Phyrrus has his own stories written about him.

Depending on who you read, he was also to "marry" sweet lil baby Iphigenia- Agamemnon's oldest daughter, still a child bride.
She was instead sacrificed for the good fortune of the war.
(She was so tiny I'm always sad for her )

During the siege, Achilles also lusted for a Trojan prince- a tween boy, who struggled against and rejected Achilles, which led to his murder.

Hektor- he who killed Patroclus and got slaughtered by a berserk Achilles, is kinda the actual hero and victim of the story. He's also like, one of the few nice guys out there.
The real villain of the story is his brother Paris, who fucked everything up. Little shit.

(also Helen's rapture was just the excuse Agamemnon was looking for to war against Troy and loot its riches. So... Agamemnon too.)

If you read me say "Depending on who you read" too much it's because... well, your concept of Greek mythology may vary depending on which documents you read.
The Illiad, The Odyssey and all other greek epics and tragedies were sung, rewritten, translated and

studied so many times over generations by poets, historians, film makers, and greek philosophers themselves, essays with their own visions and opinions, that
So nothing you say is actually set in stone, even your woke takes on incest shipping among the Greek Gods based on your

modern standards.
Especially those, tbh.
I think the one thing everyone agrees on is that Agamemnon is an asshole jock.
Remember I said Achilles broke it off from the greek troops over a female slave he favored? Agamemnon- his enemy among allies, took her, that's why

There's also the joke about Hades being a better dude than Zeus and like, I love the trend it's hilarious. But here's kinda how it is:

Sex with Zeus: 1) boom! Pregnancy. Yes even if you're a cis dude, and yes even if you're Zeus's leg. 2) could be rape, could be zoophilia, could be teratophilia, could be water

Sex with Poseidon: 1) it's probably rape 2) it's definitely rape 3) depending on who you

You read, a goddess will slutshame you then blame you for it then curse you into a monster then send warriors to kill you. OR she cursed you to protect you from anything happening against your will ever again. Regardless, you die horribly and she remains a feminist icon.

Sex with Hades: 1) it's usually rape 2) if so it's definitely violent rape 3) he's the god of death for a reason and his body count is literal: few survive him.

Titans Kronos and Rhea are brother and sister (parents being Uranus and Gaia) but they fucked, so Poseidon and Hades, Hera and other gods were born.
Zeus is the 6th child from their union. He marries (and constantly cheats on) Hera, his sister.

Depending on who you read, Aphrodite is either one of Zeus's daughters... Or his aunt, born from the foam that came out of Uranus' castrated testicles, that had fallen into the ocean.

For those who wanna go UwU on this ship too: Persephone is Zeus's daughter, and Hades' niece.
For the Disney fans: Hercules had female and male lovers. What's canon is that he is a himbo: he was tricked into bed with 49 princesses (one each for 50 nights) who pretended to be the

The one princess he actually married, all daughters of a King who desperately wanted to have Hercules' seed for heirs.

Anyways feel free to add on this or correct me I love Greek mythology I don't even remember why I started this thread just hit me with it