Testing, testing... are mods asleep? I think they are.

Okay, but- how about Omega!Keith who gets his first heat triggered by the 'pilot error' grief?

(Totally sfw, hurt and comfort, past shadam, future sheith, Beta!Adam)

Keith's in one of his classes when he hears it, and at first he thinks he's running a fever, some nausea over the shock of it.

As the day goes on though, he gets worse, and is sent to the infirmary, but somehow he ends up outside of Shiro's apartment door.

No one seems to care.

He's curled up in a ball against the wall, shivering and weeping softly when Adam finds him.

Adam who looks dead on his feet, with red-rimmed eyes, his uniform a mess, and hair pulled in every direction. Adam who seems very unfazed about finding Keith there of all places.

He doesn't say a word when he opens the door to Shiro's apartment picks Keith up, and hauls him inside. Doesn't even blink when Keith lets his pain out in a mix of little whimpers and cries for his lost- if never really had- mate. The same man he's grieving.

Keith's a bit out of it, but even then he understands what's going on now. He feels ashamed over making Adam go through it, but at the same time, he can't go.

Any other time Keith would've yelled, stormed out of the place, but he's sick, and tired, and here it smells amazing.

Adam leaves him on the couch for a moment, where Keith makes himself small again. The cushions have the faintest dregs of cedarwood and rusted iron, Shiro's scent. He rubs his cheek against it, eyes shut against everything that's outside.

The news, the Garrison's lies.

The knowledge that Shiro IS out there and Keith has to find a way to find him, Adam somewhere in the kitchen making noises.

"You have to stop saying those things." Adam's voice startles Keith uprigth. It's hoarse, as if he'd been screaming. He looks exactly like Keith feels.

"Eat." Adam places a tray with food and water on the coffee table, but doesn't go near. Doesn't sit either. Keith shifts on the spot, feeling unsure. Unsafe.

He makes some noise then, a scared chirrup sound he's never made before, and that has Adam sighing and sitting down.

There's still some distance between them, but that's okay.

Keith knows Adam, and even when his heat-addled brain seems to distrust everything right now, at least Adam doesn't reek like some of the people outside. And he's also Shiro's- he's- Keith wails in pain at the thought.

"Stars, just-" Adam curses on the low, and then he's up and next to Keith in a moment, arms around him and mumbling things to his hair Keith can't make out. They sound soothing though, and some of the tension eases away from him.

He cries himself to exhaustion on Adam's chest.

When Keith comes to, he's surrounded by the soothing smell of his Alpha. He's in Shiro's bed, tangled up in one of his sheets. He can feel the wetness between his legs, and that primal need for something more, but at last his mind is clear. Or clear-er.

He sits up, searching the room for Adam, and is surprised to find him sitting against the bedroom door.

"You, stood guard?" He asks for lack of a better thing to say.

"You wouldn't stay in bed." Adam shrug is a bit self-deprecating. "I'm no alpha, but you needed to rest."

The beta looks tired, worn down, like he's been through his own personal hell. And then it hits Keith that he likely did. He wraps the sheet tighter around him, not wanting to think what he did while feverish and asleep.

"You need rest too." He offers as an apology of sorts.

"No. I don't." The words leave no room for argument, and for a moment it almost makes him feel like the times him and Shiro were up to something, and Adam would scold them. It almost feels like that, except for the broken /everything/ lying between them now. "You need to eat."

Keith nods, unable to look to Adam's eye. He wonders how long had the beta known, and how much more he was willing to put up with.

A part of him wonders if Shiro knew as well, but the thought that his alpha new and still left him is too much to bear.

Shiro didn't know.

In fact, Shiro was probably not even his alpha, and Keith was just being a pathetic omega, onesidedly mate-bonding with his best friend.

He feels like crying. Maybe he does.

Keith eats what Adam offers to him, drinks the water in little sips. After, he feels tired, so he naps.

(I have zero idea where this came from, but I do know where it's going, so more to come soon!)

Next time Keith wakes, he's antsy. It's like he's unable to stay still, and he /needs/ something, but what? He twists and turns in bed trying to find a good position- maybe that's it? Then he sits up and searches the room. It got dark outside, and Adam is gone.

Keith panics.

He doesn't want to, and he clasps his hands over his mouth to stop the cries that leave it, but he's alone and even when he was used to that, the heat made it so that he's scared.

His mom was gone, and his pops, Shiro, and now Adam. Of course Adam's gone, look at the mess he is.

It was one thing that Shiro put up with him, because Shiro was too damn good, and probably felt bad about a one-step-from-juvie omega, but Adam doesn't have to. Even less when Keith is crying out for the beta's ex, clinging to him, and unable to do the basics like feed himself.

The moment that Keith presented as omega, he knew he was not a "normal" one. One that was demure and well behaved, and that and alpha like Shiro might like. He's too wild for that.

But he's definitely a bad omega if he can't get some pity and help from a nice beta like Adam.

Keith is so deep into his wallowing that he doesn't hear the door to the bathroom open, and Adam walk back inside. He only notices the man when the bed dips next to where he's trying and failing to think of a plan. It's impossible to do with hormones clouding his brain.

"'msorry," he blurts out, a hand grabbing at Adam's arms. "I'll be better, I'm sorry."

"Keith?" Adam sounds scared, and Keith lets go as soon as he notices the way his nails had become almost claws and were digging into Adam's skin.

"ImsorryImsorry," he scoots away, confused.

"Is okay," Adam calls softly, shifting closer with care, a hand rubbing circles on his back. "Breathe with me Keith, come on."

"I, I'm," he tries to apologise again, but is sushed by Adam who just shakes his head. "I'll be better." He tries then. "I can be a good omega." Can he?

"You're not a bad omega, why are you saying that?" Adam seems to be genuinely asking, and that sobers Keith up a bit.

"B- because I fight, a- nd run away, and make people leave." He can't believe he's voicing all of this right now, but he blames the hormones for that too.

"I mean, I do think fighting less would be better," Adam starts, but is quick to continue when Keith shies back. "If only to make the life of some of us, officers in charge a bit easier." He's smiling, small, and weird with the way he looks utterly exhausted, but he's joking.

Keith's, unsure of how to answer to that. It's true that he got Shiro into a lot of trouble for his actions, but he doesn't really know how much that affected Adam too.

"So you know, no more fist fights would be good," Keith nods. "Win your fights with your wit, your piloting."

Adam fills the silence for the two of them, but it's nice. Keith thinks it's the most they've talked since- well, probably since Keith's body decided Shiro was his mate. "Besides, if you ask me, prim and proper omegas are not everyone's type. And it's a bit dated, too."

"I-" Keith opens and closes his mouth, licks his lips that have become dry with his sobbing and rubbing of hands over his face. "You don't think I should behave certain way?"

"I think you should follow Garrison's rules as a cadet, nothing more. Nothing you don't want to do."

"But the other omegas-"

"They might like that," Adam shrugs. "Or they might realize they don't in the future. We're all different, Keith, no matter the things we have in common. I'm not like every beta, Shiro..." The silence that follows Adam's voice breaking is almost too much.

Keith scoots closer, a hand resting on the bedsheets just a hair away from Adam's. It takes a moment, but the man continues. "There'll probably never be anyone like him, in the whole universe." A sigh shakes the beta's chest, and Keith hides his tears behind the mess of his hair.

"My point is, you have to be yourself." Adam turns to look at Keith, the smile he's trying doing nothing to erase the pain in his face. "But respect curfew."

"I can do that." Keith offers one of his own slightly crooked smiles. "Maybe." That makes the man laugh, a small victory.

"What do you need?" Adam asks after the air has somewhat cleared around them.

"I want to make a nest," he says automatically, finally knowing what was that thing he was missing.

"Okay," Adam stands and makes his way to Shiro's closet, but as soon as he opens it, he stops.

He doesn't need to look at Keith for him to know. They are thinking the same thing.

There's only so much that they can use, before the rich scent that's now wafting into the room goes away.

(Stopping here for now, hope you're enjoying! I may have cried a bit writing certain part, but you'll never know it. Hehehe)

Adam is still holding the door open, eyes closed at the sudden assault that was Shiro's scent, and Keith tries not to do anything dumb like getting up and march there to get the things his body so desperately needs. He tries to be mindful of Adam's own pain at this as well.

"Do you want me to go get some of your clothes?" Adam asks, moving away from the closet. Stalling.

"Would you?" Keith's voice catches in his throat, Adam nods and goes in silence. It weighs heavily in the room.

Alone with his heart, Keith decides he might as well take a shower.

Keith's not sure how long he sits in the tub under the shower spray, Shiro's half-empty bottle of shampoo carefully cradled in his hands. He didn't use it.

He's positive he's cried, because his eyes feel heavy and raw, his throat burns with the things he's refused to scream.

Adam knocks at the door when he returns, and he knocks again some minutes later, just checking in on Keith. He mumbles some answer both times to reassure the beta he's okay. Somewhat.

When he leaves the room, towel wrapped around tightly, his feet feel like lead, his body alien.

Keith wonders just how much of what he's feeling is the heat, how much are his own feelings. It's probably stupid, but he tries to separate his love for Shiro from the pull of his omega hormones for the perfect alpha.

He hates that his first heat had to come like this. Now.

And he needs to separate things, because while his omega brain is mourning a mate, Keith refuses to believe the Garrison and its stupid pilot error claim.

*He* knows Shiro is alive, somewhere in his mind he *knows* it. He has to. Shiro is the best pilot there is, and he's alive.

And still, there Keith is, with silent tears rolling down his cheeks while he gets changed in the clean clothes Adam brought him.

Because there is this annoying side of him slowly shattering inside.

Because he's in heat, and his alpha doesn't know. He is not here. He won't be.

Adam doesn't say anything while Keith changes, keeping himself busy pulling nonexistent lint from the bedding to give him some privacy. They stay in silence while Keith makes his nest too, pinching and fluffing and moving comforters and pillows around until it's perfect.

It's just his things, much as there's an urge inside burning for Keith to lace his scent with that of Shiro. But they have to be smart about it, use their wit as Adam said.

"Does it look good?" Keith asks after growing anxious and moving everything around too many times.

"It looks great." Adam's praise is not the one Keith's omega wants, but it brings a smile to his face nonetheless. Warmth and pride blossoming from a very primal place in his ribcage.

Adam walks to the wardrobe again then, and brings back a shirt, and a pair of workout pants.

Keith can't help the need that overcomes him, grabbing the items from the beta's hands to bury his nose in them. It's the perfect mix rusted iron, cedarwood and something so intrinsically Shiro it must be the universe itself.

"Sorry," he whispers, sheepish. Adam shakes his head.

Keith's not sure if it's grief or a sense of duty towards Shiro and pity towards him, what makes Adam be so nice while Keith's openly whining for the man's ex, who he clearly still loves. He's also not sure he wants to know.

He doesn't know which of the answers would be worse.

At the very least he managed not to rub the clothes all over his scent glands. They're Shiro's, so he must be careful with them.

Keith returns to the nest with the sweatpants, picking a nice spot by the head to delicately weave them with his clothes.

"And the shirt?" Adam asks.

Keith toys with the soft fabric in his hands for a moment, there's a question hiding behind his teeth he's refusing to let out. He's been nothing but a niusance to the beta all day long, and he needs to get a better reign on his annoying instincts.

He must not be too clever about it, because Adam sees right through him. Slowly, as if asking for his permission, Adam plucks the shirt from his fingers and puts it on over his own.

Keith can't look him in the eye without breaking apart under the amount of shame filling him.

They say nothing as they get inside the nest. Keith because he's afraid of the sounds that will leave his lips if he parts them. Adam- he can't even imagine what the beta is thinking.

It takes a little shuffling, but in the end Keith tucks himself to Adam's side, nose buried in his chest to breathe in Shiro's scent, and one of the beta's arms around his back.

It seems like forever before either of their breathing evens out, but eventually they sleep.

(Having fun? We're getting closer to the happy! If you're liking this so far, and want to buy me a kofi, you won't see me, but I'll do a happy dance in my house ) http://Ko-fi.com/ragdollrory 

Morning comes with Keith's legs wrapped around a pillow, Adam's chest to his back, and the beta's arm keeping Keith promptly turned away. Shiro's shirt is on said pillow as a case, and Keith buries his face in it to hide from his shame of what he'd probably done in his sleep.

He tries to apologise for it during the breakfast the two of them share after Keith showered and fixed the nest, but Adam isn't having any of it.

"It's just biology," he waves away, "I've been there before." I've shared Shiro's ruts, is what he doesn't say. Keith appreciates it.

The rest of the day goes smoothly. Adam does not go to work, apparently he'd asked for days off while Keith napped, and he'd been given them. Keith also doesn't have to assist to class of course. His heat has been informed, even when he never made it to the infirmary.

If Adam's days off are because of him or Shiro, Keith doesn't know. Maybe a bit of both. He doesn't know what to do with that information.

Keith spends most of the day in his nest, reading while his lucid, and being soothed by Adam's company when the fever hits.

Keith clings to the pillow and Adam sets carefully behind, holding him, and whispering comfort words through Keith's babble of mating cries, until it all subdues and he falls asleep.

The third day is the worst, and it ends with Adam biting down on Keith's neck to ground him.

They don't talk about it, even though they probably should. Yet it's hardly a mark at all. Adam can't claim him after all, beta's aren't made for it, and his teeth are flat, so there's only a barely-there bruise afterwards, but it calms the omega in Keith down, and that's enough.

Keith's heat is blessedly short, so in the morning of the fourth day, Adam goes with him to the infirmary where he gets his supressants.

With them, he won't have a heat for a couple of years, or until he finds a mate, the nurse explains.

Both men wince, none corrects her.

It's a slightly awkward walk back to Shiro's room then, silent and slow.

The way everything that transpired in the past few days seems to hang ominously above them, as soon as they step in, waiting to be acknowledged, yet neither seems to want to be the first one to do so.

They clean the place up- the Garrison would only look away for so long, after all- and they carefully place every one of Shiro's items in two boxes. Books, trinkets, a cartoon mug, pictures. Technically they can't take any Garrison issued clothes, but they do so anyway.

The glint to Adam's eye when he hands one of the jackets to Keith tells him maybe the man hadn't always been so strict in life. Keith's lips twitch with silent laughter.

"Thank you," he says once they're outside the room, and ready to part ways. He shuffles with his box, until he manages to tuck it under one arm and takes a small step towards Adam.

The beta doesn't hesitate to put his on the floor and wrap both arms around him. It feels good.

"No more fistfights?" Adam voice is colored with humor under the serious question, and Keith hides a chuckle to his chest.

"No even if they deserve it?" Keith half-teases.

"If they deserve it, you tell me and I'll deal with it." Adam pulls away, his brown eyes firm on Keith.

"Fine." Keith shrugs, Adam laughs.

When the beta's hand reaches to ruffle his hair, they both tense up. Adam had never really done it before, that was more of a Shiro thing. It's Keith's turn to sober up and look straight at Adam's eyes. "He's alive, I know it. I'll prove it."

Adam's smile doesn't reach his eyes when he nods to Keith's words, but it's just the same, he doesn't know how, but he'll find Shiro.

Adam tells Keith not to be a stranger, but the pilot error is all everyone talks about in the Garrison, and Keith-

The next time someone questions Shiro's ability to Keith's face, he doesn't fight, but he doesn't go to Adam either. He grabs what little he owns, and flees.

(Hi, hi, hi! Happy Saturday! Now that baby Keith is out of his heat and the Garrison, we get near series time, and closer to Shiro! See you all tomorrow!!)